valentines day.

the mere phrase makes most people sigh in romantic anticipation.

i, however, prefer to regard it as a commercial racket fed by gullible fools.

i know that’s not very girly of me, but i really just don’t see the point. valentines day just makes single people feel like losers and married people feel obligated.

for example: the newspaper where i work has a ‘valentine love messages’ page that i am required to edit, but would prefer to vomit on.

why, i ask you, do humans undertake this sudden compulsive quest to spout bad poetry in newspaper classifieds accompanied by poorly-drawn cherub graphics and nicknames like ‘mr honey trousers’ ?

well, because everyone else does, obviously.

everybody, it seems, except for me. i can’t be bothered.

this fact makes my husband the envy of his friends.

one of whom has a wife that cries every valentines day no matter what he does.

one year, he bought her lingerie and she accused him of being obsessed with her body. and cried.

the following year, he took her to an expensive hotel and she accused him of wasting their money. and cried.

this year, he has decided to do nothing at all. he figures she will cry anyway and at least this is a lot less expensive.

i see his point. but she is still going to kill him.

for the other 364 days of the year, this guy is a devoted husband and father who loves his family.

but every february 14, he is suddenly a thoughtless louse who ‘doesn’t know what his wife wants’, and i happen to find that unfair.

if your partner fails to get you the ultimate in thoughtful, expensive, extravagant and/or in-every-way-perfect gift this valentines day, perhaps you should bask in the compliment this really is.

it says ‘i know you don’t need proof’. it says ‘i was busy looking after our life or doing my job’ sometimes it even says ‘i’m still HERE, aren’t i?’. and that’s what matters, isn’t it ?.