... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...

 

valentines day.

 

the mere phrase makes most people sigh in romantic anticipation.

 

i, however, prefer to regard it as a commercial racket fed by gullible fools.

 

i know that’s not very girly of me, but i really just don’t see the point. valentines day just makes single people feel like losers and married people feel obligated.

 

for example: the newspaper where i work has a ‘valentine love messages’ page that i am required to edit, but would prefer to vomit on.

 

why, i ask you, do humans undertake this sudden compulsive quest to spout bad poetry in newspaper classifieds accompanied by poorly-drawn cherub graphics and nicknames like ‘mr honey trousers’ ?

 

well, because everyone else does, obviously.

 

everybody, it seems, except for me. i can’t be bothered.

 

this fact makes my husband the envy of his friends.

 

one of whom has a wife that cries every valentines day no matter what he does.

 

one year, he bought her lingerie and she accused him of being obsessed with her body. and cried.

 

the following year, he took her to an expensive hotel and she accused him of wasting their money. and cried.

 

this year, he has decided to do nothing at all. he figures she will cry anyway and at least this is a lot less expensive.

 

i see his point. but she is still going to kill him.

 

for the other 364 days of the year, this guy is a devoted husband and father who loves his family.

 

but every february 14, he is suddenly a thoughtless louse who ‘doesn’t know what his wife wants’, and i happen to find that unfair.

 

if your partner fails to get you the ultimate in thoughtful, expensive, extravagant and/or in-every-way-perfect gift this valentines day, perhaps you should bask in the compliment this really is.

 

it says ‘i know you don’t need proof’. it says ‘i was busy looking after our life or doing my job’ sometimes it even says ‘i’m still HERE, aren’t i?’. and that’s what matters, isn’t it ?.

 

 


Comments (Page 2)
on Feb 16, 2006
'that said, i was tongue-in-cheek here, perhaps i should have made that plainer ?'

Well, maybe I should have seen that. Glad that while I appear to have narked one or two others, I don't appear to have offended you - and you are the author of the piece to which I was responding, after all! Very nicely defused too, if may say so.
on Feb 18, 2006
Hey MIG! Thought I'd let you know that many a man is jealous of me for what me and my girl did for V-Day as well. Sure Valentine's Day this year was expensive, but not for the reasons that it was expensive for many other men. No flowers were bought, not fancy dinner reservations made, and no jewelry purchased......nope. What we did do, at my lovely lady partner's suggestion, was pick up a take and bake heart-shaped pizza, get tattoos together, eat some ice cream cones and fall asleep watching rented movies. And no, we didn't get each others' names on our asses or anything like that. I got the bike tattoo I've wanted for a long time on my right calf and my girl got an olive branch on her wrist.

Ahhh, cupid did something right by us!

-suspeckTed


PS - apparently there's a reverse Valentine's Day gaining support in which women are supposed to focus more on their man since V-Day is stereotypically a woman's holiday, called "Steak and a Blowjob Day." I first read about it in Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column....not for those under 18 of course. http://www.steakandbjday.com/
on Mar 28, 2006
why, i ask you, do humans undertake this sudden compulsive quest to spout bad poetry in newspaper classifieds...? especially at the going rate of classifieds which continuously inflate.
on Mar 28, 2006

btw. Speaking of inflated rates, I noticed in the Writing section you were anxious to buy a book from Amazon. Well, it so happens mine is on Amazon Australia. Search it: http://www.geocities.com/rrjksr/greatreading2.htm

 

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