... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
Published on April 22, 2006 By mignuna In Personal Relationships

 

marriage involves facing some nasty facts. one of these nasty facts is the realisation that your spouse is already trained. and there is nothing you can do about it.

 

the person you now call your mother-in-law has instilled values in your lifemate that you will NEVER, EVER get rid of.

 

regardless of how much they shit you.

 

for example, my mother-in-law is very strict about the floor of the shower being grit-free. if you tracked in some sand, you’d had better wash it down the drain while you shower or risk her wrath.

 

i, on the other hand, couldn’t care less if there is sand in the shower. i, do, however, sport the pre-programmed housewife habit of my own mother – i am the wet towel nazi.

 

as a result of this sneaky mothering trait, my husband and i will forever be locked into a conflict that started years before we were born.

 

this conflict largely involves his (mothers) opinion that wet towels are not a problem as long as there is no sand in the shower versus my (mothers) opinion that only slobs leave wet towels lying around and sand in the shower is just a fact of life.

 

despite knowing this, my husband is still as astounded by my lack of appreciation over his efforts to rid the shower of sand as i am over his lack of comprehension that wet towels are the real enemy here.

 

so we have two apparently intelligent people who will never, as long as they practice any form of personal hygiene, be able to agree.

 

how annoying to have inherited such ‘customs’ in lieu of a meaningful spiritual inheritance. to have no family history to speak of, no fireside tales.

 

no, these are the past of MY people. these silly, irrelevant traits and habits that some convict housewife with a straw broom created to keep the sand from her outhouse. the ‘tidy towel’ plan that a boarding-house-patron maternal ancestor burned into her daughters because cotton was scarce in the war.

 

yet i find them, strangely, no less meaningful. they are not negotiable, as inflexible as any sacred custom. they will insist i maintain my heritage at the cost of the shame we would share if we acknowledged them aloud for what they are.

 


Comments
on Apr 23, 2006
great read. thanks
on Apr 23, 2006
Ahh Miggy I read this article and I was sat here thinking if I shared any of these traits with my Mum. My Mum is a complete clean freak, you only have to touch something and she's polishing, or wiping, or doing something! She likes everywhere to look unlived in. The less clutter the better. Where as I love clutter and for things to be comfortable, and I'm not even close to as fussy as her. But thinking about it, I do get irritated when people move things about. Hehe...this is going to sound a little strange, but I don't mind mess when it's me making it, but when it's someone else, I get a 'lil annoyed! God help the poor bloke that ends up with me!
on Apr 23, 2006
no, these are the past of MY people. these silly, irrelevant traits and habits that some convict housewife with a straw broom created to keep the sand from her outhouse. the ‘tidy towel’ plan that a boarding-house-patron maternal ancestor burned into her daughters because cotton was scarce in the war.

yet i find them, strangely, no less meaningful. they are not negotiable, as inflexible as any sacred custom. they will insist i maintain my heritage at the cost of the shame we would share if we acknowledged them aloud for what they are.


How fascinating that you dug deep to consider the roots of those pet peeves. You broadened my mind and gave me a laugh!
on Apr 23, 2006
I guess marriage envolves training each other AGAIN, lol! Good one Mig.
on Apr 23, 2006
How about the whole seat issue in the bathroom?
on Apr 24, 2006

thankyou momijiki. your cherry blossom blog is the loveliest thing i've read in so long.

saaaal, my possum. the bloke that ends up with you shall be the luckiest fellow to have such a divine woman

and angelamarie, hi, and thankyou for that comment. i'm glad it made you laugh. i find it oddly amusing too

island gurl, hello again ... and please send me any 'training' methods you have asap

adventure dude, i have only this to say: aaarrrgggghhhh 

love mig xxx

on Dec 23, 2006
on May 05, 2007
This is the way culture works really. It doesn't have to be tribal dresses and dances in front of fires, usually its just doing what your family has done because thats the way its done. Thats why i silently chuckle anytime someone refers to themselves as "cultured" Well, my blue-collared red-neck family sitting down to a dinner of beans and cornbread are just as cultured. Takes some of the fun out of it, heh.
on May 05, 2007
this conflict largely involves his (mothers) opinion that wet towels are not a problem as long as there is no sand in the shower versus my (mothers) opinion that only slobs leave wet towels lying around and sand in the shower is just a fact of life.


A light hearted look at relationships, a good read, thank you.
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