the cranky old womans' internet dictionary

(aka surviving the infer-mation age)

Published on May 23, 2004 By mignuna In Internet

welcome to the cranky old woman’s' internet dictionary ... or should i say dicktionary ?. doubtless this will help you navigate the brave new world of the internet, and still keep yourself nice

badmin - (bad-min): any reactionary or nasty article/post directed at any site admin solely because they don't agree with everything you say.

blahketing - (blah-kerr-ting): annoying tendency of some bloggers to make a comment in someone elses' article as a marketing tool via posting a link to their own article after making the vaguest of references to yours.

commeant - (comm-meant): a comment or post that is specifically meant to upset someone.

communichate - (comm-you-nick-hate): violent online clashes between otherwise beneign people caused by being "taken the wrong way" in a blog or forum post.

contradicktion - (con-tra-dick-shun): blogger who is such a dick that they attack an opinion (or the author if it) for no apparent reason other than to take opposing views, and then hurl insults and launch a personal attack.

delaytionship - (de-lay-shun-ship): a long-distance (or internet) relationship plagued by mismatched moods and desires due to the time differences in the respective locations of the participants.

dicktionary - (dik-shun-air-ee): interesting new phenomenon of lists of "men" who are "dicks". (entrance requirements appear to be any man who does anything at all other than breathe and sit still. oh wait, them too). Link

geneius - (jean-ee-us): person born with the unfortunate genetic personality traits of stupidly and highly inflated self-importance.

inferdelity - (in-fer-dell-ah-tee): the infidelity that may not actually be infidelity at all (aka that thing you may or may not be doing with that msn user named "hotstuff" whilst your significant other is asleep).

infermation - (in-fer-may-shun): (a) dodgy "facts" obtained from random websites and used in support of stupid online arguments; or ( temptation to imply that one is more attractive than one actually is because the person you are communicating with cannot see you.

intellhecktual - (in-tell-heck-shoe-al): otherwise intelligent person who negates their own point by using superfluous profanity.

log - (log): residue left when initially enthusiastic (but ultimately short lived) blogger abandons their weblog.

moregasm - (more-gaz-em): what occurs when the desire for someone is horribly multiplied by the impossibility of ever touching them.

pouncellor - (pown-sell-or): blogger or forum member with a "pet subject" who pounces on any post even remotely related to said subject with a lighting speed 15-line-vomit-of-a "counselling" post.

showfile - (show-fye-al): the incredibly flattering profile photographs posted by most online community members.

ps: yes, i am very bored. hehe ... this is a work in progress, and contributions are MOST welcome

mig XX

Comments (Page 3)

citahellion

on Jul 19, 2004

amgram (AM-gram): a clunky, buggy, ill-designed and poorly-constructed program that was clearly written by an amateur. (see also: webshite)

commatose (COM-muh-toess): descriptive of a blog entry that suffers from extreme overuse of commas. Alternatively, the state you enter when reading such a blog, as the pauses implied by the commas mount up and send you into a stupefied condition. Example of sense 1 that may invoke sense 2:
"I, was going, to, the store, you know, and, suddenly, my friend, Bob, popped up, and he said, like, hey, what's up, dude, and I went, hey, don't, call me dude, dude, I'm not, a dude, I'm a hot, and happenin', hipster, see?"

duhcision (duh-SI-zhun): an incredibly stupid decision.

flog (FLAWG): a blog whose entries all focus around a single event, person, or object, which the blogger harps on tirelessly, relentlessly, and incessantly.

webshite (WEB-shite): a web site suffering from extremely crappy design and construction.

mignuna

on Jul 21, 2004

citahellion, i have a friend here with me, and he was just forced to suffer the indignity of me snorting with laughter over your latest entries. especially the commatose. ohhhh nooo. i hate commatose blogs. you have truly excelled yourself my puzzling friend

.

thanks so much for keeping this alive.

mig XX

Manopeace

on Jul 21, 2004

Those daffynitions soooooooo fit one blogger in particular, unfortunately he wont be seeing my comment because he blacklisted me yesterday

citahellion

on Jul 22, 2004

What, mig, no coffee out your nose?? I am disappointed....

administrutter (ad-MIN-uh-Strut'-er): One who feels compelled to point out at every opportunity that they have administrative powers and could, if they chose, exercise those powers at any time

eye can'ty (I cant-ee): "Eye candy" (decorative fonts, colors, graphics, animations, etc.) that render a post, blog entry, or web site unreadable.

citahellion

on Aug 02, 2004

intellucktual (In-tel-LUCK-tchoo-ul), adj. : Of an argument made by a normally incoherent or idiotic author, who in this one instance manages to say something valid.

e-male (EE-male), n. : a person whose online posturings make him (or her) out to be a testosterone-laden, balls-to-the-wall, controversial, no-holds-barred, gung-ho go-getter; but who is, in real life, a nondescript wallflower.

citahellion

on Oct 16, 2004

inkubus (INK-yoo-buss), n. : a person who seduces you with his writing even though you know logically that he is wrong; a demagogue blogger. (n.b. normally refers to males only.)

mignuna

on Oct 17, 2004

oh citahellion, i'm so pleased to see you !.

i saw the resurrected thread and thought "oh no. the blogspambot has gotten my favourite article !".

thankyou for your act of kindness in this spam hell, my puzzling friend !

grateful mig XXX

citahellion

on Oct 17, 2004

We can't let the spammer beat us to ALL the good articles! Besides, this one was especially deserving of a good bump.

chiprj

on Oct 17, 2004

saw the resurrected thread and thought "oh no. the blogspambot has gotten my favourite article !".

I wonder if the JU admins would be able to IP block the anonymous spammer...

chiprj

on Oct 17, 2004

Oh, and very nice post, too! I'll have to add some of these words to my daily vocab!

citahellion

on Oct 21, 2004

hypocrat (HIP-uh-Crat), n. : A hypocritical democrat.

repugnican (re-PUG-nick-'n), n. : A repugnant republican.

Yes, I've been reading the political threads recently....

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