... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
... and other such early educational misadventures
Published on November 21, 2004 By mignuna In Humor

 

I can recall the first film I saw about sex. It was at a school evening. My parents were there. (My parents !. Who had done it. Ugh !. Whatever it was. I wasn’t even certain I wanted to know). There I sat amongst my equally embarrassed-into-silence classmates, the setting completed by a ring of parents who looked at their shoes and cleared their throats a lot.

 

Then 'it' happened. The film said the word ‘penis’. “HA HA ! PENIS !”  yelled Joel, the kid who had no eyelashes and always barfed on the bus on school excursions. “PENIS !” screeched someone else. All hell broke loose as 30-or-so high-on-nerves pre-teens erupted into a spontaneous volcano of hysterical laughter.

 

In the background, the film was now displaying a highly-coloured drawing of the female anatomy from a side view. “EWW !” screeched Joel “WHAT IS THAT THING ?”. When it was carefully explained, one of the girls started crying and had to be taken to the toilet to recover by her Dad.

 

This was shortly followed by a mass evacuation of little girls to the tea room, all crying for the same reason (ie: because someone else was). By this time, the film had finished, nobody had learned anything, and Joel spent the remainder of the evening in the corner for making all the girls cry.

 

I am happy to say that I have since learned that I don’t really have fluorescent blue fallopian tubes and an orange vagina (complete with polka-dotted clitoris and dark-green labia), but I will still never forget the one truth I did learn during my first ‘sex’ lesson ...

 

... It doesn’t matter how young you are, (or how old you get), sex is sometimes just plain old funny and embarrassing.

 

 

 


Comments (Page 2)
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on Nov 22, 2004
kingbee
tattoos

Ouch! This is taking sadomasicism too far!
ll
on Nov 22, 2004
I must not be part of the "in crowd"
on Nov 22, 2004
alison,
What?
on Nov 22, 2004
with the polka dots...mine is not polka dotted
on Nov 22, 2004
with the polka dots...mine is not polka dotted
on Nov 22, 2004
it still sounds better than the films we have ta watch in the army that's supposed to scare us into safe sex by showing us all the wonderful social diseases wanderin' around. (on a side note, some of them DID have polka dot clits, but for slightly different reasons......)

also reminds me of something that happened in my freshman zoology class in college....One class whilst (and at the same time even) talking about sexual reproduction, and the fact that a large portion of semen contains sugars as fuel for the little wigglers, a girl raised her hand and said, "Dr. (i-forget-his-name), if there's so much sugar, then how come it tastes so salty?" before clapping her hand over her mouth and running from the room, never to be seen in zoo. again...........
on Nov 22, 2004
also reminds me of something that happened in my freshman zoology class in college....One class whilst (and at the same time even) talking about sexual reproduction, and the fact that a large portion of semen contains sugars as fuel for the little wigglers, a girl raised her hand and said, "Dr. (i-forget-his-name), if there's so much sugar, then how come it tastes so salty?" before clapping her hand over her mouth and running from the room, never to be seen in zoo. again...........


That's an urban legend . . . that REALLY happened in your class? *she asks with eyebrows raised in suspicion*
on Nov 22, 2004

before clapping her hand over her mouth and running from the room, never to be seen in zoo. again...........


that's the kinda experience that proves--despite all its burdens and hazards--life aint really that damn bad after all.
not just for observers fortunate enough to have been on hand for that moment; even the poor chick wound up with a story thats gotta just kill anyone to whom she relates it.

on Nov 24, 2004

i love it when this happens. you guys are so funny. thanks for visiting me. i never tire of comments and chatting


kingbee and texas, way to go with problem solving ! woo hoo ! i love it ! i love it !


scatter, thanks for your vote on my title. i just can't help myself sometimes (ok, a lot of the time hehe)


leaping lizard and alison, thankyou both for the big laugh. we need to form a club now ? 'the polka-dotted clitortis club' ... pdcc for short


spc nobody special, i have actually never heard that one before (stupid australia hehe), so you got a laugh out of me !


mig XXXXX


 

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