... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
Published on January 1, 2005 By mignuna In Misc

 

I have briefly disengaged myself from the throng of houseguests to make the following announcement:

Somebody ate all of my Cornflakes.

I can handle the endless snoring from bloated corpse-like guests passed out all over my house.

I can handle the giant electricity, phone and grocery bills we inevitably get lumbered with.

I can handle the utter disregard for my privacy and desire for peace.

I can even handle cooking for seven ravenous people in two sittings every night.

But when they eat all of my Cornflakes, that means war !.

There are many things I can do without in this world, but Cornflakes I have to have.

And they ate them.

All of them.

Even those yucky little ones at the bottom of the box.

I feel so violated !.

Plus, I fear a nasty tussle next time someone pees on the tiles on the toilet floor. Why don't men wipe it up ? Why ?. Why, every time men get drunk, do I have to navigate a river of pee on the toilet floor ?.

I don't wear shoes very often, and, the 'producer' of the next pee river I step in is going to be forced to pee in the garden henceforth.

And to think, this could all have been avoided if only they hadn't eaten all of my Cornflakes !.

I'm going to go and put sand in their beds now.

Happy New Year, everyone !!!.

 


Comments (Page 1)
on Jan 01, 2005
Aww . . . that sucks, mig. But I enjoyed reading it. Happy New Year to you.
on Jan 02, 2005
Happy New Year Mig..I tried to read this last night but I couldn't get on.

I love having guest but after a while they are a pain.

P.S. Did you ever get my e-mail?
I will e-mail you soon again, I am finally getting a bit of time to do what I need.
Again, I wish you the best for this New Year!
KellyW.
on Jan 02, 2005
Happy New Year Have fun putting sand in their beds, I'm sure they will enjoy it Maybe you should get your own personal reserve box of cereal and hide it someplace they wouldn't think of looking for it? Like, say, the bathroom closet or wherever you store your towel. I hope you enjoyed your holidays
on Jan 03, 2005
hehe. there's a hilarious scene in a movie called Igby goes Down where a drag queen has this tantrum over lucky charms. "F**king.Lucky.Charms!!" It floored me!That's kinda what this made me think of..

Happy New year mig!

Dyl xx
on Jan 03, 2005
It's even worse when the eat all your Pringles and put the empty cannister back in the cubbord without saying anything .......grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
on Jan 03, 2005
do I have to navigate a river of pee on the toilet floor ?.


They can't navigate even when they're not drunk!! (runs for cover!)

Mig that sucks! I say we skin them alive. They've probably all left by now though, and now you have a moment of peace - fulness?!

Happy New Year to you too.
on Jan 03, 2005
I fear a nasty tussle next time someone pees on the tiles on the toilet floor


As a man, I feel duty-bound to defend my gender from the charges you've laid, Mig. Unfortunately, I happen to agree with you. It is a pretty big target and a subjectively small hose. You would think it would be an easy thing to do but, for a lot of us, it seems the bigger the mess, the better the relief.

The only problem with sand in the bed is that you're left cleaning it up as well. But it might be worth it just to know they're squirming in their sleep.

All the best for 2005

Cheers,

Maso

on Jan 04, 2005

thankyou tex, kelly, danny, dyl, mano, foreverserenity and maso

happy new year to all of you as well. may you all survive guests and pee rivers !!!! bleuch !

love mig XXXXX

on Jan 05, 2005
Not sand, sugar! If they sleep with exposed skin, their body heat will melt the sugar and they'll wake up glued to the sheets. Bwahaha!

Happy new year and all that!
on Jan 05, 2005
Loved the article mig! And the comments! All this pee stories had me laughing so much i'm sure my bladder shrunk!

Happy new year to you too
on Jan 09, 2005
Do you sleep in a Kellogg's t-shirt? And a Happy New Year to you!LOL
on Jan 12, 2005
where is new 'friday five' ?
on Jan 21, 2005
Hi Mig,

We need to talk about selling my unit and trading up to a house.

Oh and I thought of a new word association and possibly the title of my next book.

... " Optimistic mysoginy " the ming boggles.

BTW I am in Amsterdam !!!


Respect to you ; )

Scorps

PS > To everyone out there in InternetLand, I have been a house guest of Mignuna's !
on Jan 21, 2005
Mig--where did you go? You are missed around here--a lot...please come back
on Jan 21, 2005
Dont be such a girl Nessie piss is sterile just take a wiz on the floor too Mark your territory, anyway thats what this is all about , piss on your cornflakes and anything else thats yours fancy. Find you inner male and wee free Nessie wee free.
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