... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
Published on February 27, 2005 By mignuna In Misc

 

 

I have a clown phobia. They terrify me. I place the blame squarely on every awful 80’s ‘horror’ film I ever watched.

 

I spent my formative years viewing movies about clowns that would sit, smiling and apparently harmless, on a chair in a corner of your bedroom ... until the lights went out.

 

At which point they would suddenly grow very long arms and strangle you in your sleep.

 

Or produce an enormous meat-cleaver from the folds of their voluminous costume and split your skull open like a watermelon.

 

So, you understand my reluctance when I recently had cause to take several photographs of a clown.

 

(I didn’t want to do it, but as it was either that or ‘fessing up on the phobia, I complied).

 

To my utter astonishment, the clown in question displayed no signs of harbouring murderous intentions, and, instead of beating me to death with a unicycle, actually engaged me in a short but nonetheless very interesting conversation.

 

(I am still uncertain whether to be pleased or appalled about this, yet it did lead me to wondering if clowns get laid much ... are there clown groupies ?).

 

Rather than the psychotic misfit I was expecting (hoping for ?), this particular clown was not only well-spoken and obviously intelligent, he was also (shock, horror), kind of sexy.

 

Ding-dong !

 

I hurried back into the big top and watched him perform.

 

He was very athletic !

 

It was almost too much for me to bear when I realised he was a contortionist !

 

(I tried not to look at the stage whilst he did his thing, but as it took up the entire tent, it was difficult not to notice that he could bend himself backwards in half at will).

 

I left that circus tent as a woman minus her clown phobia, but with a burning question taking hold in my mind to replace it ...

 

Clown suit ... on, or off ?

 

 

 


Comments (Page 1)
on Feb 27, 2005
Clowns are scary, but it's good to hear they no longer scare you
on Feb 27, 2005

hi danny

thanks for your support. you too could get over your clown fear if you just, err, faced it like i did

mig XXX

on Feb 27, 2005
Do you think the same kind of thing would work with dogs? Because I'm terrified of dogs.
on Feb 28, 2005
The name of the phobia is Coulrophobia. I'm not scared of clowns, but I do have an irrational fear of jack-in-the-boxes, but can't find out if there is a phobia-type name for it.
on Feb 28, 2005
I never really found clowns amusing. I just find them plain irritating.

Mignuna, I think I know the movie you're talking about - It. There must be others too but that is one I remember prominently featuring a clown. "Would you like a balloon?"
on Feb 28, 2005
Hey Mig,
Once again...good to have you back!

My brother-in-law has been afraid of clowns all his life. Then his friend asked him, not knowing of course, to dress up as a clown for her daughters birthday party. I think that cured him.

I think one of the movies with the scary clown was Stephen King's "It".
on Feb 28, 2005
Clowns can be really scary to little kids. It's a phobia that some don't grow out of easily, as you know. The Stephen King's "IT" wAS so scary. It definately was high up on the scary clown radar.
on Mar 01, 2005
some kids are terrified of clowns, and fair enough, with all the coloured afros, big floppy body suits, those enormous shiny shoes and opaque makeup... not to mention the squirting flowers etc -- who needs horror movies when you've already got all that? however, i met a little kid once who was about 3 who LOVED clowns. he was obsessed with them! he would beg me to draw picture after picture of clowns and all his toys were clownesque.... weird....
on Mar 01, 2005
a mate of mine has a dead set clown phobia - we ushered him towards some clowns at an urban shopping complex last year, and he lost his nut over it! we should have got them to make a move on him - it seems as though that is the cure for a clown phobia!

good one Miggy
on Mar 01, 2005
It was almost too much for me to bear when I realised he was a contortionist !


we really need a more graphic 'wicked evil grin' smiley than this but...it'll have to do i guess

(so glad to see you're back ya naughty lil clownfreak. i surely hope if you havent seen the bobcat goldwaithe clown movie--in which mr g treats us to an alcoholic clown as well as clown groupies!-you'll do so in the near future.)
on Mar 01, 2005

njforever, my mum was terrified of dogs until i got one, but still, i'm not sure how dogs feel about flash photography

maso, that's awful. i wonder if you had a traumatic experience with a jack-in-the box when you were young ?. you want to hope that this current fad for reviving old toys doesn't stretch to them !

raven, arrrgggghhhh ! yes, that sounds like it !. then the kid reaches out for the balloon, and the clowns arm (complete with requisite stripy sleeve) stretches across the room with the balloon and twists around the kids neck and the clown yells "HERE'S YOUR BALLOON ... I HOPE YOU LIKE IT !!!". aaarrrrgggh, it's midnight here and i will never sleep. i think i feel my clown phobia returning. no, wait make that my 'coulrophobia' returning.  (thanks maso for the word !)

oh, no, kelly, i remember that one too ! arrrrggghhhh !. it had such evil eyes ! (hides under chair) !

foreverserenity, it's good to have you in the 'clowns scare me' club. i just renewed my membership after all those scary reminders !. let's get shirts made

teegstar, i bet we will be seeing that oddly well-adjusted kid on the evening news one day soon

muggy, it's true !. just get a hot chicky babe to hire a clown suit, and whammo. all fixed ! hehe

kingbeeeeeee ! so nice to see you !. being called a 'naughty lil clownfreak' is the nicest compliment i've gotten in ages. it's nice to be back, and no, i haven't seen that movie, but i love bobcat, (i'll even admit to watching police academy just to see hear him). as usual, my freind, you know what i like !

mig XXXXX

on Mar 01, 2005
Mig, my irrational fear extends to 'Pop Goes The Weasel' as well so maybe I need some regressive therapy to see if there is an 'incident' in my childhood I've blocked out
on Mar 09, 2005

maso, perhaps your fear extands to all phallic-like objects bursting suddenly from enclosed spaces !.

i can't imagine what you could do to help that

mig XXX

on Mar 09, 2005
My favourite scene in Friends.
Joey and Chandler about to flip a coin to decide which Baby at the lost & found is Ben (two babies one with ducks on his nappy, the other with clowns)

Chandler:- You have to assign heads to something
Joey:- Ooh Ducks is heads, because ducks have heads
Chandler:- What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday?

Migs - I must admit I'm not a fan of clowns either.
on Mar 09, 2005

 

TRINA !!!!! hello again ... i hear you guys have had some mild cyclonic weather up there ... i'm not sure exactly where you are in qld, but i hope all is well, it looked pretty nasty !.

and as for the clowns, well, it seems to be a problem that quite a few of us have ... muggaz has had the most creative solution so far

mig XXX

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