... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
... aka 'what floats my boat' ;)
Published on April 28, 2005 By mignuna In Personal Relationships

 

 

Care to know what 'floats my boat' ?

 

Exactly what does 'the little chef' need to do to 'stir my sauce' ?

 

Could it be sexual gymnastics ?

 

Endless preening, posturing and posing perhaps ?

 

Expensive meals, good wine, luxurious backrubs maybe?

 

Or even bending over backwards to make me happy with endless romance, flowers, heart-warming films and other such essential accoutrements ?

 

Nah.

 

If you want to see me writhe in ecstasy and slink across the carpet towards you in a frenzy of uncontrollable lust, then make me a nice cup of tea, there’s a love.

 

I mean it.

 

I've never met a man that can make the perfect cup of tea, but the very moment I do, I am going to knock him to the floor and shag him senseless.

 

Why ? Why can’t they do it ? What’s wrong with you people ?

 

Why will men spend fifty bucks on a book about ‘how to find the g-spot’ or spend seven hours trawling the net for the perfect night out and yet refuse to spend five minutes learning how to make a cup of tea that doesn’t taste like they washed their socks in it ?.

 

Please, single men of the world, if you want sex, don’t worry about looking all poncy and smelling all good. Forget about being rich or famous. Just learn how to brew a halfway decent cup of tea and you’ll be three-deep in women begging for your favours.

 

Lose those cheesy pick up lines forever – I promise you’ll get all the lovin’ you want if you approach a woman and say “I have some great new Chai at home, would you like to try it ?”.

 

If you do this, women will have sex with you just so they will be there when you make tea the next morning !. They will !. And they’ll say things like: “Make me another cup of tea like this one, and I’ll drink it out of your navel”

 

Ask your Nana if you have to, but whatever you do, learn to make that tea ... how hard can it possibly be ?

 

 


Comments (Page 1)
on Apr 28, 2005
Okay, I'm learning to make tea this instant! In the past if at all possible! Thanks for the great tip!
on Apr 28, 2005
Why will men spend fifty bucks on a book about ‘how to find the g-spot’


Whaaaat? No man I know would EVER do such a thing! They'd spend $50 on a book about "How to give the perfect blowjob" and give it to a woman as a gift.
on Apr 28, 2005
Boil water, add tea bag, make bag dance around water until water is well flavored, drink. Does that about sum it up? Can't be that simple, because I'm not one deep (let alone three) in women.
on Apr 28, 2005

Okay, I'm learning to make tea this instant! In the past if at all possible! Thanks for the great tip!
 

you go for it, njforever ! go boy, go ! make that tea, baby ! oh yeah !

Whaaaat? No man I know would EVER do such a thing! They'd spend $50 on a book about "How to give the perfect blowjob" and give it to a woman as a gift.

citahellion, i wish i could say that you're wrong ... *sigh* ... but i fear that, as always, you are correct !. (and you're here when i am ! trippy !)

mig XXX

on Apr 28, 2005

Does that about sum it up?

well danny, you have the basics there. but you've also got blends of tea, special flavours, varied steeping times, varied strengths, pot or bag issues, sugar or lemon prferences, milk or no milk ... it's a science, it really is !

mig XXX

on Apr 29, 2005
I've never met a man that can make the perfect cup of tea, but the very moment I do, I am going to knock him to the floor and shag him senseless.


Er, then I better not mention that H can make an excellent brew, 'cause I'm the only one who gets to shag him senseless.

-A.
on Apr 29, 2005
http://forums.joeuser.com/Forums.aspx?ForumID=23&AID=73544

does this mean i'm in there?
on Apr 29, 2005

Er, then I better not mention that H can make an excellent brew, 'cause I'm the only one who gets to shag him senseless

swoons in a jealous fit

does this mean i'm in there?

but eww ... you're my brother, mj ... other than that minor detail ... yes, you are ! hehe

mig XXX

on Apr 29, 2005
Wow, sounds like you're perfect man is Arthur Dent.
on Apr 29, 2005
wow. Seems to be a whole World of Tea out there.
on Apr 29, 2005
Maybe this is why I have all these women problems

Peace,

Beebes
on Apr 29, 2005
Boy George once famously proclaimed: 'I'd rather have a good cup of tea than sex!'
To which Spitting Image replied: 'Yes, but it doesn't half make your willy sore!'
on Apr 29, 2005
My Wife is a tea person, and she trained me well.  No lipton for her!  And no Shagging for you.  I am married!
on Apr 29, 2005

Ive never been a huge fan of tea bags.  I use them when I have to, but I prefer loose leaf.

My favorite method is to put the loose leaf tea in the pot (you should pour boiling water in first, let it sit, then pour it out before adding the leaves) and then pour in water that is at boiling, but not yet boiling in on top of the leaves.  Let it steep for 5 minutes then pour through a cup strainer.

I prefer tea with just a touch of honey and I dash of milk if it is black tea.  I only drink herbal at night, and that I drink without anything in it.

 

on Apr 29, 2005
I make a mean batch of oregon chai.. I also do the formal japanese green tea cermony.. but sadly I am spoken for.
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