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mignuna's Articles In Misc » Page 2
February 27, 2005 by mignuna
  I have a clown phobia. They terrify me. I place the blame squarely on every awful 80’s ‘horror’ film I ever watched.  I spent my formative years viewing movies about clowns that would sit, smiling and apparently harmless, on a chair in a corner of your bedroom ... until the lights went out. At which point they would suddenly grow very long arms and strangle you in your sleep. Or produce an enormous meat-cleaver from the folds of their voluminous costume and split your ...
January 1, 2005 by mignuna
 

I have briefly disengaged myself from the throng of houseguests to make the following announcement:

Somebody ate all of my Cornflakes.

I can handle the endless snoring from bloated corpse-like guests passed out all over my house.

I can handle the giant electricity, phone and grocery bills we inevitably get lumbered with.

I can handle the utter disregard for my privacy and desire for peace.

I can even handle cooking for seven ravenous people in two sittings every nig...
November 29, 2004 by mignuna
 I used to work with a fellow who had a younger sister with cerebral palsy. He often spoke with pride of her high intelligence and academic achievements, and also of her occasionally mischievous nature. I remember one occasion when he told me, with some excitement, that she had been chosen to be interviewed by a journalist from a major magazine on behalf of the students at her university. The day of the interview came, and he waited for her phone call to be collected from the maga...
November 13, 2004 by mignuna
I cannot keep still in my sleep.  I for some reason assume a sleeping position my husband has named ‘the starfish’ (arms out, legs out), thus occupying the entire bed. From there, I for some reason like to hurl the blankets across the room with great force and smash the bedside lamp, occasionally followed by bestowing my sleeping husband with a thump on the head. (Neither of us has any idea why I do this. Happily, my husband chooses not to view this as some type of repressed w...
October 28, 2004 by mignuna
 When I lived in Sydney and went to work every day, I was what one might call ‘well-groomed’. (Okay, technically, I was what one might call ‘groomed to within an inch of my life’). At the time, I never gave my intensive self-cleaning-and-preening a second thought. It was as much a part of my routine as eating or sleeping. I had a job. I worked in an office building. Every other person that worked there did exactly the same thing. Looked exactly the same way. That the duties we collecti...
September 5, 2004 by mignuna
I read a while ago about the concept restaurants “Dinner In The Dark”, and although there are none located anywhere near us, I was intrigued by the concept.

Basically, there are no lights at all in the restaurant, and the staff are visually impaired. Upon arrival, you are guided to your table and seated by the maitre’d, the wait staff read you the days’ menu choices, and you make your selection.

(Of course, Braille menus are available on request).

Imagine it: yourself and your compani...
September 1, 2004 by mignuna
I was watching the (Australian) television show 'The Panel' last night, and the subject of 'mooning' came up.

Specifically, they were discussing the fact that an Australian Olympic swimming medalist had begun to pull his track bottoms down during an athletes' celebration with the intention of 'mooning' the other athletes, and had been 'removed' for questioning about the incident.

Apparently, Olympic officials has not been sure what the swimmer was 'planning to do'. As 'mooning' is known...
August 27, 2004 by mignuna
Art imitating life ?. Uh, make that death. Although I can't say I have much interest at all in art auctions, I found a recent example of art imitating life that I loved in spite of myself.

British auctioneers 'House and Son' recently auctioned a figurine of Anne Boleyn, 2nd wife of Henry VIII, who was beheaded in the Tower of London in 1536.

After the successful bid was made, a member of the auction house staff, whilst attempting to remove the figurine from display, accidentally knocke...
August 25, 2004 by mignuna
Snail sex. No, this is not about some weird sexual slow-breathing palaver for humans. It’s about sex, snail style. Snails, as in molluscs. Slimy, icky little molluscs ... ew ... but I digress.

The common garden snail, Helia aspersa (native to Europe and also found in California and South America), is a hermaphrodite, meaning that it can assume either a male or female role in reproduction as required. (Yes, of course this story gets better).

Garden snails court from between 15 minutes to ...
August 24, 2004 by mignuna
One-in-a-million miracles happen, on average, 295 times per day in America alone, says Michael Shermer in this months’ Scientific American “Skeptic” column.

“I cannot always explain such specific incidents” Shermer writes, “but a principle of probability called 'the Law of Large Numbers' shows that an event with a low probability of occurrence in a small number of trials has a high probability of occurrence in a large number of trials”.

Shermer explains how, in their book ‘Debunked !', ...
August 19, 2004 by mignuna
i have a rather burning question for the big fake boob loving males of the world ... what exactly is it about big fake boobs that you like ?.


is it the fact that a woman can exist regardless of this modern society who can still be made to feel shitty enough about herself to allow her body to be mutilated to please a man ?


is it the fact that a woman dumb enough to do that will also be likely to be dumb enough to let you screw her in every way ?


maybe it's the way those melons ...
August 19, 2004 by mignuna
i’d heard the controversy about the site ‘virtual confessional’, so i thought i’d keep an open mind about the possibility of ‘absolution online’ and see for myself. now, i’m not even entirely convinced that the site itself is not a hoax, although people do claim it’s genuine, i really have my doubts.

anyway, ladies and gentlemen, at 'absolution online' you can click ‘virtual confessional’ and then ‘select your sin’ from an online list conveniently categorised into sin sub-headings, such as ...
August 17, 2004 by mignuna
after recently ruining a teenage girls mini-golf game by dropping his trousers and masturbating, 41 year old dana ross stegall was arrested on his 15th indecent exposure violation in the last dozen years.

serial flasher stegall was considered such a problem case that local city prosecutor frank hollon was moved to offer him an unusual plea-bargain -chemical castration.

stegall turned the bargain down, went to trial and was found guilty of indecent exposure. again. the exasperated judge i...
August 16, 2004 by mignuna
(paul simms (for the new yorker magazine. which i did not buy. which marco left here) recently published the following plea to god. this work is copyright to paul simms).



lord ? ... please don't let me die in a funny way.


like being beaten to death with a shoe. especially not my own shoe. and, if it absolutely has to be my own shoe, i'd rather not be wearing it at the time.

or like choking on my own fist during a bar bet.

i know i'm going to die someday, i'm just asking not to ...
August 15, 2004 by mignuna
in a recent article of mine, suspeckted (who shall henceforth be known as 'the man all women should love', or 'tmawsl' for short), actually expressed a preference for a woman who was pale, clever, interesting, quirky, and occasionally downright freakish over a world-renowned beauty.

now, the choice of a woman who loves acting because she wants to vicariously live the life of a serial killer isn't for every man, i agree. there are men who would worry about this. men who would prefer someone ...