... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
my ex love once told me that i was the the most perfectly beautiful woman that had ever existed.

then he came.

after which he remained as adoring a partner in general, but i noted he had somewhat amended his description when he sent me a postcard from the louvre in paris which stated that "no masterpiece here has the bland hope of arousing in me the passions that your perfectly-imperfect face can".

it is most fortunate for me that i perceive this as the compliment that it plainly is.

i, dear reader, am not perfect !

*gasp*

(in fact just this morning my "boob-tube" top fell off as i was hanging the clothes on the line. i think the idea being that boob-tubes are supposed to be FULL of , err, boobs was something i may have overlooked).

not only am i flawed, i have the nerve to accept my flaws and insist that others do too !. can you imagine ?.

my poor husband has to live with a woman who dyes her hair "shades of pizza" (his words) and who is paler than most dead people !.

to add insult to injury, i am also several years older than him. and it shows !!!!.

women in such circumstances can become overcome with the urge to mount a most vigorous "anti-aging campaign" !!!. this generally takes the form of expensive potions that claim to defy physics and enter the organ (skin) which was designed to repel such things !!!. ...miracle creams indeed, those .

unsurprisingly, i have not fallen victim to such "renovation" efforts.

i am too cranky and tired to bother, and frankly, i doubt my husband would notice or even care unless he spotted the resultant bank account black-hole ...

... and by this, i am lucky enough to understand that he loves me "just the way i am".

(any doubts about my ageing he may have had were soon quashed after his viewing of ooooold photographs of the spiral-permed, fake-tanned, toweled-on-make-up, stiletto-wearing 19yo horror that was to ahem, mature, into his pale and unpainted wife of today).

he thinks i look much better now.

and although i admit it would be difficult to look worse without real effort, it does send a very important message to women whose idea of being "sexy" is to leave the lights off during sex in case "he" sees your "insert-flaw-here" ...

the effort you put into controlling his "perfect" perception of you is wasting a lot of energy on something that can only ultimately harm you.

if you're not a perfect woman, i suggest you plainly say so. leave those lights on !. have sex first thing in the morning !. let him see you. all of you. naked in every way. show him what it is you're "hiding" ... your thighs, your wobbly butt, your "imperfect" skin ... whatever it is.

and if he loves you, then chances are you'll find out he already knows it all, anyway. sees it all, anyway. and already loves it all, anyway.

which begs the question ... if he can love you for it ... why can't you ?



Comments (Page 2)
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on May 05, 2004
that comment rocked !

... and as for those stretch marks ... you got them by having them by having his baby, so of course your hubby accepts them (as he should !!!!).

i tell you right now i'd exchange my flat tummy for some baby bulge in a second if i had the chance !.

thanks for your comment. i'm glad to have your voice for the "cause" trina

mig XX
on May 05, 2004

It's funny, because whenever I complain about some imperfect part of my body (and there are many) my husband always say "so what?"  He really doesn't care.  I think that women put more pressure on themselves to look a certain way then men do.

However, I will say that my husband does prefer that I have long hair and that I wear skirts and dresses.  However, my ass is too big to feel comfortable in dresses right now, so he will have to settle with the long hair......of course, considering that my hair fall out now and then, sometimes he has to deal with me being bald.  He doesn't complain, though.

I think in the end, men just want women to have sex with them.  As long as the woman is happy enough with herself to get naked, the man is happy, too.    And, some men even prefer big butts.....

on May 05, 2004

My bottom isn't as wobbly anymore, thanks to all the swimming I've been doing. It's still pretty JLo-esque though..and Trina, I have stretch marks too.  They fade after a while and get thinner.


My husband really, truly loves me the way that I am, big butt, saggy boobs, cellulite and all.  I've always had short hair, and I was thinking about growing it out..he's always liked long hair.  I mentioned it to him, and he asked me not to.  Said "you won't look like YOU with long hair".  That was when I knew he truly meant what he said about loving me just the way I am.

on May 05, 2004
karma and dharma, like me, you have married well ... to men who understood that they were getting more than a "5 year lease" and that there would be no "trade-ins'" allowed after a certain ahem, mileage. j/k

karma, i think you're spot on in saying that men don't care what our butts look like ... they're just happy to be "getting some" at all !

and dharma, from what i know of you, your husband married a total gem and he's lucky enough to realise it.

thanks, chicks !

mig XX
on Nov 15, 2004
I'm so glad that this got spammed!

It ties in nicely with an article I wrote over the weekend. I'm getting to the point where I'm liking my body for what it can do, not what it looks like. And if a man is going to reject me because I've got a couple of extra kilos on my belly, then I really don't want him, do I?

Yay for the wobbly butt! Yay for the saggy/uneven/too big/too small boobs. Yay for cellulite and love handles and all the other things that show that we have more important things to worry about than tight abs.

Great article migs. Something to live by really.

Suz xxx

on Nov 15, 2004
The best thing about a wobbly butt is what happens when you slap it

There, I said it


I can't believe that I just laughed out loud at that!
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