unpleasant congratulations

Published on May 8, 2004 By mignuna In Marital Issues

my parents are divorced, and they SHOULD be.

they are so patently wrong for each other that i am frankly amazed i even exist.

in fact, my birthdate lends me to suspect that if my parents hadn’t attended some boozy new years’ eve party in 1968, i would not be here.

humbling thought, that ...

my entire existence probably came into being as a result of my twenty-something parents bridging their “communication” problems with some dodgy vodka punch and having a festive shag.

pretty hard to feel important when you look at how random it all is, isn’t it ?.

as my parents have not been a “unit” for some 26 years, they are no longer able to “share” some things. everything gets divided in a divorce. and it doesn’t stop with houses and cars.

as a result of this total “split”, my parents are now (separately) equally fond of claiming to have “contributed” the genetic material that accounts for the more desirable qualities they see in myself and my sister.

so it stands to reason that nobody puts their hand up when people enquire as to where vanessa (me) “gets it from”. it’s all well and good when you can say “i was so good at composition as a child ... she is JUST like ME!” ...

... but i was more sort of looking for someone to blame for this pizza of a personality ... well, at least something a bit more general than my parents blaming “your bloody-minded mother” or “your sister who was always a bit odd”.

so, the fact that my sister and myself are amongst the most driven women you could imagine causes large amounts of squabbling (face to face) or pride (secretly) in both of our parents ...

... because, of course, they BOTH think they put it there . as if it were some neat genetic deposit box that will grow two women capable of succeeding in a mans’ world.

but they don’t get it. they got divorced. they could ... so will somebody kindly inform myself and my sister how one may divorce the conflicting components installed in ones’ head by the genetic programming of two thoroughly mismatched individuals ?.

and while you’re at it, tell me where they get off thinking that they created two strong, independent daughters when i’m sure we’d both have had a much easier life if we didn’t have to learn to be so strong at such a young age.

call it a blessing, call it a curse, but the fact remains that my sister and i found out very early what can happen to you if you put everything you have into a man and that man doesn’t meet your "expectations" (reasonable or otherwise).

my parents will never get it ...

... they only CAUSED our strength, they didn’t create it.

Comments

gothic impulse

on May 09, 2004

Mig ..you have turned into a strong, independant, beautiful woman ..despite them not because of them.
Keep the congrats ..you and your sis are the ones who deserve them

Jess

mignuna

on May 10, 2004

jess, you have a huge heart, my friend.

thanks for your comments, and for your understanding. i needed both !

mig XX

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