... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
plase do NOT beat me with the sexism stick. i am joking, ok ?
Published on May 24, 2004 By mignuna In Humor
i am fascinated by a recent article i read entitled *"i, the penis"

it's clever. it's funny. and it's largely true.

but all i really feel the need to say at this point is this:

penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.


what is that you are all so PROUD of ? ... half the world has them, you know.

some men are obsessed with their bat and two balls. it's the only subject that forever both astounds and pleases them. the fact that every man alive has one only mildly decreases this pride.


it's like a club. in EVERY sense. the expression "put your balls on the line" implies that only balls will do in times of danger.

i have pondered the female equivalent ... breasts, perhaps ? ... ovum ?.

but it's no use.

men see no point in being female .... to them, there is no point. well, no point like their point, anyway.


yet, if women had penises, men would laugh at them.

but then, men would have vaginas. umm-ahhh !. and you know those jokes men make about staying home all day to play with their breasts if only they had some ?

... well, i'm not so certain those are actually jokes.


i tend to think that, were our sexual ahem, "bits" swapped between the genders, the result may well be a lot of men spending a lot of time working out what they SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG to those girly bits, and then yelling at their wives for not "making" them come.

there would be 3 days off each month, too. but WOMEN could never understand what it feels like to have cramps, or give birth for that matter ...


ohhhh, sigmund freud, i love you ... give that man a cigar




*ps: imajinits' is the article i mentioned above . thankyou michael. mig XX


Comments (Page 2)
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on May 25, 2004
but if youre offering to join me in my upcoming adventure as a newly reborn norwegian lesbian...wheeeeeeeeeee!


king, this IS cyberspace, after all.

i'd be willing to "bet the farm" (no, i don't have a farm, i'm speaking australian at you there) that there's plenty of "norwegian lesbians" on the internet that are really called leonard flatbush and live in "insert-boring-suburban-situation-here" anyway.

so, we can technically be norwegian lesbians NOW. should we WANT to.

um. do we want to ?

mig XX
on May 25, 2004
unfortunately we bet the farm here (or some of us do...or have) it seemed like such a sure thing too.

as far as the norwegian lesbian thing goes, im afraid im not yet quite fully qualified. i still need to pass lutefisk. heres a description of the course lutefisk


as far as the pitfalls of cybersex, i managed to umm overcome them some time ago thanks to technology found here
fufme
on May 25, 2004
men see no point in being female .... to them, there is no point. well, no point like their point, anyway.



Actually.... ummm, ahem...

bathtub faucets and whirlpool water jets.

I was swimming laps at the Y one day, only one other person around, a young female, attractive. I kind of kept an eye on her whilst swimming. She stopped doing laps and headed over to the side of the pool. She stayed there for quite a while. As I was watched her, she was kind of...wiggling...squirming anyway. I couldn't really watch very closely. After she left, I went over to where she was and lo and behold...a water jet. Right at that level. My first thought was 'you go girl!!' My second thought was 'why can't guys do that?'

on May 26, 2004
as far as the pitfalls of cybersex, i managed to umm overcome them some time ago thanks to technology found here fufme


you know king, somebody sent me a link to that website in an email. (i can't imagine what they were trying to tell me ???).

i was tempted to post it here actually, but i feared retribution from people who may have actually fallen for it.

i haven't looked at the other one yet. i'll let you know when i do. in the meantime, i recommend this: Link

After she left, I went over to where she was and lo and behold...a water jet. Right at that level. My first thought was 'you go girl!!' My second thought was 'why can't guys do that?'


oh, werewolf. you've got something that can be SHOT OFF like a BAZOOKA for gods' sake, and you want to deny women water jets ?.

mig XX
on May 26, 2004
the zoo is a riot as are the other things hes got linked to it. the stick insect thing reminded me of my own efforts in a similar directions...a tribute to lamprey eels that came about after i discovered the the mod position was empty at alt.binaries.sex.animals.lampreyeels.

i actually was prepared to order one of those fufme things for an acquaintance in my old chat...id even generated and validated several credit card numbers when i realized i didnt have the delivery address.

im hoping the lutefisk thing will give you an even greater appreciation for all things norse

i hope im not revealing too much by mentioning that water has no specific gender bias...if you love it...itll love you back
on May 26, 2004
oh, werewolf. you've got something that can be SHOT OFF like a BAZOOKA for gods' sake, and you want to deny women water jets ?


ROFLMAO!!!!! a bazooka?? damn, who have you been doing it with?

Nay, I don't wish to deny women water jets.. quite the opposite. just envy.

on May 31, 2004
i actually was prepared to order one of those fufme things for an acquaintance in my old chat...id even generated and validated several credit card numbers when i realized i didnt have the delivery address. im hoping the lutefisk thing will give you an even greater appreciation for all things norse


king, i am still uncertain which of these two ahem, diverse items traumatised me more. it seems to me that the lutefisk wins on the grounds of sheer descriptive power, but the other thing is not without it's own particular disgusting qualities.

ROFLMAO!!!!! a bazooka?? damn, who have you been doing it with?


ok werewolf, so a bazooka was a slight overstatement ... but you men do that all the time, so ...

mig XX
on May 31, 2004
Here's a perfect example of that last statement:

Do you know why girls have such bad depth perception?

Because guys have been telling them that this much (werewolf holds finger and thumb apart about 6 inches)
is nine inches.

on May 31, 2004

Because guys have been telling them that this much (werewolf holds finger and thumb apart about 6 inches)
is nine inches.


I spat out beer on that comment....thanks, Dave!


, that was good....very good!

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