... i love my husband, i really do ... but the man is losing his mind ... ;)
one of the things that initially attracted me to my husband was his practicality ... (yes, i know that's not romantic, but then, neither am i) ... he was logical, organised, and sharp. i married a reasonably switched-on man. or so i thought.
it appears, however, that this was merely a cunning ruse on his part to get that ring on my finger and then attempt to undergo evolutionary regression !.
... do any of these terrible afflictions sound familiar, chickies ? ...
condition: domestic blindness
symptoms: inability to recognise or locate ordinary household items whilst spouse is home
treatment: leave it all on the bench where he can find it, which is just as annoying in another way
prognosis: poor, and worsening with age
condition: farter/martyr syndrome
symptoms: ape-like crude behaviour followed by hurt feelings over rejection of “real” self
treatment: you could try my sisters’ approach and say: “if you’re going to fart, could you please go into the garden”
prognosis: never mind. you’ll go deaf one day, right ?
condition: wees disease
symptoms: sharp blood pressure escalation caused by having to stop car for wife to use bathroom
treatment: pee on his damn seatcovers, sisters. failing that, learn to chair dance
prognosis: woeful at best
condition: remote-controlled rabies
symptoms: compulsion to have the remote control in ones’ hand at all times. attempted removal causes mild hysteria. and mouth foaming. in advanced cases, this extends into sleep
treatment: break it. or take the batteries out. or you could always just let him have the damn thing
prognosis: fine, once you realise you didn’t actually want it anyway
condition: dishlex-ia
symptoms: competence at operation of every electrical device known to mankind, with the notable exceptions of dishwashers, washing machines, ovens and clothes dryers
treatment: very complex. this multi-pronged nasty is not only a logistical nightmare on laundry day, it’s also a subconscious rejection of the “food and clothing” mantle of the “provider”. woo hoo. double whammy
prognosis: not good. although breaking the oven and calling the guy next door has been known to solve it instantly
... i SO hope it's clear that i'm joking ...