... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
... i love my husband, i really do ... but the man is losing his mind ... ;)
Published on June 26, 2004 By mignuna In Marital Issues

one of the things that initially attracted me to my husband was his practicality ... (yes, i know that's not romantic, but then, neither am i) ... he was logical, organised, and sharp. i married a reasonably switched-on man. or so i thought.

it appears, however, that this was merely a cunning ruse on his part to get that ring on my finger and then attempt to undergo evolutionary regression !.

... do any of these terrible afflictions sound familiar, chickies ? ...


condition: domestic blindness

symptoms: inability to recognise or locate ordinary household items whilst spouse is home

treatment: leave it all on the bench where he can find it, which is just as annoying in another way

prognosis: poor, and worsening with age



condition: farter/martyr syndrome

symptoms: ape-like crude behaviour followed by hurt feelings over rejection of “real” self

treatment: you could try my sisters’ approach and say: “if you’re going to fart, could you please go into the garden

prognosis: never mind. you’ll go deaf one day, right ?



condition: wees disease

symptoms: sharp blood pressure escalation caused by having to stop car for wife to use bathroom

treatment: pee on his damn seatcovers, sisters. failing that, learn to chair dance

prognosis: woeful at best



condition: remote-controlled rabies

symptoms: compulsion to have the remote control in ones’ hand at all times. attempted removal causes mild hysteria. and mouth foaming. in advanced cases, this extends into sleep

treatment: break it. or take the batteries out. or you could always just let him have the damn thing

prognosis: fine, once you realise you didn’t actually want it anyway



condition: dishlex-ia

symptoms: competence at operation of every electrical device known to mankind, with the notable exceptions of dishwashers, washing machines, ovens and clothes dryers

treatment: very complex. this multi-pronged nasty is not only a logistical nightmare on laundry day, it’s also a subconscious rejection of the “food and clothing” mantle of the “provider”. woo hoo. double whammy

prognosis: not good. although breaking the oven and calling the guy next door has been known to solve it instantly



... i SO hope it's clear that i'm joking ...



Comments
on Jun 26, 2004
Which just goes to prove men are the same the world over. Right now, in some primitive village, deep in a jungle somewhere, the PakaWakish equivalent of "Would it kill you to do the dishes?!?!" is being screeched.
on Jun 26, 2004
hehehhee...You and your husband should have a sitcom, Mig, it'd be hilarious.

love DYl xx
on Jun 26, 2004
Reading this, I realize again just how blessed I am....I couldn't recognize my hubby in ANY of those afflictions you described....now my EXES....that's a whole other story!
on Jun 26, 2004

The only one I recognized was the farter one....Lonesome has to be the most prolific farter I've ever know.  Not so much the odiferous kind, but the sheer length, volume and frequency must qualify him for a place in some record book, somewhere.


Having said that, he has been known to 'dutch oven' me.....he'll drop a really nasty one in the car, then roll up and lock all the windows and turn the heaters on full blast to ensure I get the full effect of what he ate for supper last night.


He's pretty good about the rest of your list....in fact, he's the one who feels he has to teach me to load the dishwasher!

on Jun 26, 2004
OK, weighing in on the guys' side.

I'm a-gonna have to think of a testosterone laced answer to that one. IF I can just find my pen (I'll ask my wife, I'm sure SHE knows where it is)...lol

great piece.
on Jun 26, 2004
Having said that, he has been known to 'dutch oven' me.....he'll drop a really nasty one in the car, then roll up and lock all the windows and turn the heaters on full blast to ensure I get the full effect of what he ate for supper last night.


Oh my....I'd have to KILL him.....
on Jun 26, 2004
Excellent article. This supports my thesis that today's women, upon marriage, are immediately issued an "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt.
on Jun 26, 2004
Reply By: smartazPosted: Saturday, June 26, 2004Which just goes to prove men are the same the world over


of course, gene. sometimes i think you know everything


hehehhee...You and your husband should have a sitcom, Mig, it'd be hilarious


i think we do, dyl ... but nobody has told us about it yet hehe


I couldn't recognize my hubby in ANY of those afflictions you described.


poetmom, you truly have it all. poetry and a trained male. how do you do it ?
Having said that, he has been known to 'dutch oven' me.....he'll drop a really nasty one in the car, then roll up and lock all the windows and turn the heaters on full blast to ensure I get the full effect of what he ate for supper last night.



oh dharma. that SO ruined my image of lonesome's romantic homecoming !!!! ewwww hehe. oh well, at least you can sympathise with me

I'm a-gonna have to think of a testosterone laced answer to that one. IF I can just find my pen (I'll ask my wife, I'm sure SHE knows where it is)...lol



ok gideon ... once your wife finds your pen, let me know when you get that article done hehe


Excellent article. This supports my thesis that today's women, upon marriage, are immediately issued an "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt


ok david ... you're not married, right ?


mig XX
on Jun 26, 2004
of course, gene. sometimes i think you know everything


It's about time someone noticed.
on Jun 26, 2004
Reply #9 By: smartaz - 6/26/2004 8:44:13 PM
of course, gene. sometimes i think you know everything


It's about time someone noticed


gene, then can you please read my artcile on gay marriage that sunk like a stone and tell me i'm not screaming alone here ?

oh, and a few poetry reviews wouldn't go astray while you're there, oh all knowing one hehe

thanks gene. you're soooo funky


mig XXX



on Jun 26, 2004
poetmom, you truly have it all. poetry and a trained male. how do you do it ?


Well, I'm not sure how it happened....he came that way.....
on Jun 26, 2004
then can you please read my artcile on gay marriage that sunk like a stone and tell me i'm not screaming alone here ?


mig,

Just thought I'd comment, even though the post was for someone else.

I just joined the site, didn't know how the ratings work. I have read most of your posts, just didn't know to add comments to get you points...so I'll go back and correct that. lol
on Jun 27, 2004
mig,

Just thought I'd comment, even though the post was for someone else.

I just joined the site, didn't know how the ratings work. I have read most of your posts, just didn't know to add comments to get you points...so I'll go back and correct that. lol


hi gideon, i did notice a new name on here. welcome .

hope you're enjoying ju. when i first joined, i didn't even know i got points at all. i was so shy i barely commented for months hehe. (my, how things have changed ).

thanks for reading my blog, i do appreciate your comments, too. it is always nice to know who has been reading and to have some input into things. i will make certain to return the favour

mig XX