my husband likes to watch sport. i enjoy this activity of his also, as it provides me with constant and ever-expanding proof that men are all barking mad. take for example the sport of cricket, which is known as the gentlemans’ game. my husband once attempted an explanation of this activity to me.
this explanation took place during a “test match” (i have no idea why they are called “test matches”. nothing was tested except my patience), i cannot verify the following quote as an exact transcription of the torrent of ridiculousness that gushed from my usually quite sensible husband, but it is very close.
“see, an attacking field for a spinner will want to have close slip, a gully, probably a silly point, and silly mid off, then silly mid on, and short leg, and i’d think perhaps a leg slip. the outfield will usually have a fine leg, plus perhaps a deep midwicket or long off in case they try for lofted shots”
and women make no sense, huh ?
gentlemans’ game, my eye. the guys that invented cricket were obviously whacked off their collective skulls on some nasssty skunk hydge and invented a game out of a collection of silly made-up names that the world has somehow managed to take seriously.
want to camp it up ?. want the ultimate surrealism disguised as a sport ?. fancy a fine third man or being at backward square ?. just play cricket. you can try straight fine leg, deep third man or even deep backward point.
and if that’s not enough to convince you that some terribly refined yet wickedly whacked minds were behind this most noble of traditional games, then you really must slip on over to wide long on. i have a short third man with a deep square leg that wants a word with you ...