there are two homers' in my life. one is a fat, bald, yellow guy with a big mouth and an "average" family, and the other is the world-renowned author of such epic works as the iliad and the odyssey.

they appeal to me equally, although for markedly different reasons. despite the fact that watching 'the simpsons' is considered prostitution of your literacy in some circles, i am and out and proud fan of the modern-day hero that is homer j. simpson.

and in answer to the intellectual slumming this implies on my part, i will leave you with the men themselves ... homer the poet & homer simpson ... one on one ... and despite their 3000 year-odd age gap, they seem to get along just fine. see for yourself.


homer: "look you now, how ready mortals are to blame the gods"

homer s: "the lesson is : our god is vengeful! o spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten"



homer: "how comes it that thy mother bore thee so heedless?"

homer s: " you couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine "



homer: "and moreover a young man has shame to question an elder”

homer s: "kids, if grandpa starts acting weird, lead him down into the basement"



homer: “my child, what a word has escaped the barrier of thy teeth !"

homer s: “why you little ...”



homer: "it is from us, they say, that evils come"

homer s: "kent i’d be lying if i said my men weren’t committing crimes"



homer: "unyoke the strangers' horses, and lead the men forward into the house, that they may feast "

homer s: "good drink ... good meat ... good god, let's eat ! "



homer: "you shalt not long remain a maiden !"

homer s: "wait a minute, rhinos don't come from eggs. what did you just see, lisa ?"



homer: "i am a stranger from afar, wherefore i wander i know no one of the people who possess this city and land"

homer s: "i'm hittin' the road. maybe i'll drop you a line some day from wherever i wind up in this crazy old world"



homer: "verily i gave my mind command that we should flee with swift foot, but others in their great folly did not hearken !"

homer s: "alright brain, you don't like me, and i don't like you. but lets just do this, and i can get back to killing you with beer"



homer: "there i sacked the city and slew the men"

homer s: "kill my boss?!? do i dare live out the american dream?"



homer: "bring up thy fiery-hoofed horses, and yoke them beneath the car, that we may speed on our way"

homer s: "ah, the college roadtrip. what better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem?"



... you just gotta love those homers. *sigh*