... welcome to my blunderous prior existence
sick of difficult self-help books that expect results ?. (nasty concept, that ... reward for effort) 
... well, never fear, mig is here, and failing is easy. anybody can do it. i've done it heaps of times in the past, so i thought i'd save you the time and show you how to do it step-by-step.
... ready ? ... ok, these were my top 10 life mistakes ... (or) 'how to be a failure':
1/ have your entire emotional existence tied to something as unreliable as another person
2/ defend yourself against something you know to be indefensible
3/ believe that any action, however small, has no consequences
4/ expect life to be fair and the world to make sense
5/ allow your own small miseries to blind you to the great sufferings of others
6/ assume that success or failure are permanent
7/ face only that in yourself which you find palatable
8/ forget that the light at the end of the tunnel is sometimes going to be a train
9/ get attached to anything that can be insured or replaced
10/ underestimate the power of your spirit