... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
moral code to criminal law ?
Published on August 10, 2004 By mignuna In Personal Relationships

presently there is no legal culpability for committing adultery in our 'western' world.

the criminal code of “civilised” countries does allow for legal, monetary, or other compensation for physical or “visible damage”. this extends to take into account “emotional” consequences for a limited number of “approved” pre-existing circumstances (ie: 'victims’ of crime compensation act'; which makes certain allowances for a victims’ mental distress).

in the eyes of the law, an individual is not culpable for any emotional damage they cause, intentional or otherwise, provided they did not break any actual “law”. an action only becomes illegal when it is legislated against and a law is passed either banning or in some other way limiting it’s application to certain circumstances.

so what might happen to the world if our moral ‘code’ became law ?. what if we were bound by legal requirement to behave in a morally ‘correct’ way ?. it has been suggested that the base of a healthy society is the family unit. were adultery to be illegal, chances are it would become paradoxically at once more attractive but less widespread.

if it became a crime to have sex outside of your marriage, or with a person you know to be married regardless of your marital status, doubtless the civil libertarians would cry foul, yet mans’ insistence at exercising his every ‘right’ regardless of the damage to society will ultimately liberate nobody.

fewer ‘affairs’ would lower divorce rates, both by forcing those who view marriage as a ‘non-serious’ commitment to think again before marrying, and by preserving the marriages we already have. fewer unwanted pregnancies would occur, and in the longer term, juvenile crime as a result of broken homes would also decrease.

if facing a criminal charge, single people may think twice before they become sexually involved with somebody who is married. (and the possibility of being charged with ‘adultery’ on your permanent record can’t be very enticing either).

as long as we break no ‘official’ laws, we are free to do whatever we like to each other regardless of the consequences. should i desire, i may seduce a married man, entice him away from his family, break the hearts of his children and shatter the life of their mother.

i may watch young people grow up fatherless, rob the childrens’ grandparents of their presence in their lives, and wreak financial ruin on a man who has built a home and family. i may do all of that with complete freedom, as i’d only be morally wrong at the moment. however, should i do nothing to that same married man but bump his car at a traffic-light, i have committed a crime.

(making it illegal to devastate a family on purpose may even mean we have to jettison some of the other silly laws we have to make room for it. the way we are going, soon people will be able to sue you for clearing your throat after 10pm. but you can still go ahead a trash a bunch of lives, that’s cool).

although ‘adultery as a crime’ could never happen in this modern world, will the taste we have developed for being able to do ‘whatever we like’ unhindered ultimately be our undoing ?.

because sometimes things may not cost money, but everything we do eventually gets paid for somehow.




Comments (Page 3)
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on Aug 11, 2004
I'm Army too, so it's illegal for us and that's fine by me, especially after seeing the horrendous ways that spouses abuse their marriages during deployments. What kind of assclown runs around all over the place on their husbands/wives, while their spouse faces mortar attacks or combat on a daily basis?


good point, spc nobody special.

Lack of punishment gives license to frivolous cheating. Yes, there are mature, rational adults, but there are also people out there who'd F*&# their partner over to screw a wet hole in the ground if they thought they could get away with it. It's illegal for us, and that's how I like it.


i tend to agree with you here again spc nobody special. thankyou for adding this


Yes, but mostly because people squeal. They're ridden with guilt at what they did and scared shitless because they're under investigation - add to that my husband's persuasive interview techniques and you have the perfect scenario for a confession


ooooohh. like 'days of our lives', but real. how exciting !

I don't think I've even heard of a case where people got caught red handed (or bare-assed, whichever way you want to look at it).


tee hee !

He took him back to the station, interviewed him (his partner interviewed the woman involved)...and the both of them confessed. Done deal.


the evidence is pretty damning isn't it ?. there would be no way to lie your way around those circumstances.

I'm with Nobody-Special, I'm glad that it's illegal. I wish I could show you the things that go on on a military installation shortly after a mass deployment - it'd make your hair curl.


i agree with both of you. it does seem a very necessary thing.



We have a huge deployment from my base right now - are you telling me there's lots of kinky, juicy gossip I'm missing out on?


ooooh, tell us, dharma !



The truth is out there.....Find it Scully.


she will !


Recently had a gate guard sexually harrass my wife repeatedly at gate because he thought I was away. Started with small flirt, and even though she made it clear she wasn't interested, it got worse to the point that the #&*@$@%% @$$Clown kissed her hand when he gave her id card back......


a good point, spc nobody special. the fact that your wife is a married woman didn't stop him from trying to hit on her, but if it were illegal for him to have sexual contact with married women, the jerk would probably not bother trying.

I started by making a somewhat pointed phone call at 2 in the morning and went from there. Idiot. Don't fool around with your name on your shirt and in the phonebook....especially if you're married. I'd call him more names, but I don't want to insult warm piles of shit by associating them him.


i can just imagine the sort of guy he is, too. ugh ! jerk !. i'm glad you told him the truth about himself, spc nobody special



Yep again. 'Dont shit in your own backyard'


dharma, hehe, where do you get this stuff ?



oh, i'm doing the rest in a minute hehe !

vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 11, 2004
Wow. So there are things going on that would be of interest . . . hmmm . . . My neighbors all sit in their garages and talk all day (well, the evil "Thumbsucker" sucks her thumb, but that's beside the point). I'll bet they have some interesting stories. Wonder if I should attempt to infiltrate their group?


ooh, texas wahine, the plot thickens hehe ....


NO NO NO!!! I have members of the same clan living in my neighborhood!!! Under no circumstances approach them! They're evil, pure evil, and they will exploit you and your circumstance for their own sadistic pleasure! Stay away, for your own safety, stay away


oh, this sounds awful !. how riveting !!!

They attempted to initiate me into their group when we first moved here . . . several beers later I was enjoying their company. It only took a few days for me to figure out that they were bad news, though. I agree . . .


argh. what did they do ? i must know !. why does all of this always happen when i'm not here ! waaah !



there already are cultures in which this is the case. sharia (islamic law) forbids adultery as does the torah, with stoning being the presecribed penalty.


kingbee !. thankyou. whilst i disagree with the penalty, i as always welcome your input. sometimes i think you know everything. you do, don't you !. *looks over shoulder*


and then there's the sticky problem of how to deal with teenagery


teenagery ?. hmmm. ok, i admit it, i'm dumb. i don't get it. i know it's teenagers, but ... i don't get it !. kingebee, come and explain something to me again


Mig, none of this answer is directed at you - just for clarification. It's all directed at anyone who thinks it might apply to them and I write it for the sake of stirring up the conversation


thankyou, ockhamsrazor. stir away !


Would it tear down your self esteem? Then I submit you never had any.Would it make you angry? You're angry because someone you love had a good time? No, you're angry because they didn't have it with you. That they gave away a part of themselves that you believed you owned.


this is a great point, ockhamsrazor. as you say, the fact that marriage itself is a legally binding agreement gives people an 'ownership' view of their spouse which extends to areas not 'covered' by the 'marriage' contract.

Are any of you reacting to that? Better think carefully first. If you want to control, IN ANY WAY AT ALL, what life experiences someone you love is having, is that not a form of possession?


that's another good point. in the sense that humanity has now made it's own noose by creating and supporting the ideal of the 'nuclear family' and the 'legally binding marriage'. we are now expected to uphold these things as a 'standard' and a 'norm'.

This isn't about a significant other having sex - it's about your significant self losing its esteem, and no one is responsible for what you think about yourself but you.


i agree, although the 'life' cost in terms of family breakdown, etc, can't be discounted. ockhamsrazor, thankyou so much for adding such an insightful and relevant comment.



just earned yourself an insightful from me mr razor.


me too. me too !

i wasnt taking this as seriously as perhaps i should have or i would have asked similar questions.


kingbee, even you are allowed some mental 'escapism' sometimes

from the time i was 17, id realized the futility of jealousy and possessiveness and have never stopped considering them an impediment to rather than components of love. i also know how few people share my opinion and seem unable to grasp what to me seems so obvious.


i agree. and thankyou for sharing this, king. it's beautifully expressed.


thankyou everbody so much. awesome comments, and so many of them


vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 11, 2004

i think you know everything. you do, don't you !. *looks over shoulder*

the only thing i really know is how little i know.  now if i knew how to move one of our two continents closer to the other...youd have a case  (ahahahah a case of vb hand delivered)

teenagery ?

im not sure i understand why i felt compelled to say that...or why i didnt resist the compulsion. (this is so lame but..)  you cant expect teens to engage in adultery til they're of legal age hence teenagery (yikes)

on Aug 11, 2004
breach of contract usually carries civil penalties, not criminal penalties, unless some sort of fraud is committed. Brach of a marriage contract also carries with it civil penalties.


Yeah, i don't agree with criminal charges for adultery, but perhaps if the existing penalties for breach of a marriage contract were more stiff?
on Aug 11, 2004

the only thing i really know is how little i know. now if i knew how to move one of our two continents closer to the other...youd have a case (ahahahah a case of vb hand delivered)


kingbee, if you only knew how funny what you just said was !. my 'maiden' (tee hee) intials were VB. (which, as you know is beer). to make it worse, my stepdad got me 'vanity' plates for a gift when i got my first car. every time i drove into a bottle store to get some wine (or heaven forbid, a 'case of VB for 'the bf'), i was forced to endure jokes about being 'the ultimate woman' for having a beer symbol on my numberplate (our licence plate typeface is curiously like the capital "VB" on the actual beer-can too, which made it even worse).


im not sure i understand why i felt compelled to say that...or why i didnt resist the compulsion. (this is so lame but..) you cant expect teens to engage in adultery til they're of legal age hence teenagery (yikes)


i'm glad you felt compelled to say that. and thanks for answering me



Yeah, i don't agree with criminal charges for adultery, but perhaps if the existing penalties for breach of a marriage contract were more stiff?


hi steve . i'm so sorry if you weren't, but were you trying to be funny by saying that it would be better if the penalties (hehe. penalties) for having sex outside marriage ...

were more stiff?


sorry. blame kingbee.


ahem. i agree with your sentiment steve. marriage is a legal contract that has 'laws' but no 'penalties' for transgession of them. why have them ?. thanks for adding this .


vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 11, 2004
Ouch...Penalties? That alone deserves a trip to the punitintiery.....
on Aug 11, 2004
Ouch...Penalties? That alone deserves a trip to the punitintiery.....


hehe, i'm sorry spc nobody special ... i couldn't resist ! tee hee

vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 12, 2004
hem. i agree with your sentiment steve. marriage is a legal contract that has 'laws' but no 'penalties' for transgession of them. why have them ?. thanks for adding this .


Well, there are penalties. Usually when one is found to be in breach of the contract, they lost alot of battling ground in divorce court, if my understanding is correct. I think the pen...you know, that one thing, should be more severe for breaking the contract, but not necessarily litigation.
on Aug 12, 2004
Usually when one is found to be in breach of the contract, they lost alot of battling ground in divorce court


true. but it sometimes depends on the lawyer

I think the pen


the pen...the pen... ah, yeah, i know that you mean ...

that one thing, should be more severe for breaking the contract, but not necessarily litigation.


castration then ?

i'm sorry, steve. it's 9am. i shouldn't be allowed on here at this uncivil hour

vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 12, 2004
Razor has a point but I don't think that he understands that the issue is not really about the sex but about trust!
So a there is no basis for his statement on self esteem because the betrayal of a trust by a friend and or lover
very probably will damage a persons self esteem. The fact that someone you care about is putting your health
at risk is another large betrayal, and could bring up other attitudes from the parties involved.
Q: If it was your best friend and your spouse, who would you shoot??
A: "The spouse, you know how hard it is to make friends!"
on Aug 14, 2004
the betrayal of a trust by a friend and or loververy probably will damage a persons self esteem


ssg geezer, i do agree that there is an emotional component that can leave lingering damage after 'the fact'.

The fact that someone you care about is putting your healthat risk is another large betrayal, and could bring up other attitudes from the parties involved


this is a very good point. the chance that the 'innocent' partner will be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases as a health risk, as well as the potential emotional damage.

Q: If it was your best friend and your spouse, who would you shoot??A: "The spouse, you know how hard it is to make friends!"


i love it ! tee hee. thanks for your comment.

vanessa/mig XX



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