... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
... one day, your 'princess' will come !
Published on August 18, 2004 By mignuna In Personal Relationships

i see a lot of men wasting a lot of time and money trying to unlock the secret as to what attracts the opposite sex. i hear men bemoaning the lack of 'good women', i hear women complaining that men don't want 'good women' anymore.

it seems that people are so hell-bent on finding the right person that they forget to work on being the right person.

love is meant to represent a state of mutual respect, understanding and affection between parties. so, there should be much less finding out how to 'get' girls and much more getting on with being who you are.

there's nothing so unattractive as a man who goes out of his way be someone else to impress a woman. and if you have to think about what to say to a girl, then you're probably talking to the wrong girl.

being proud of who you are is the most attractive feature any man can possess. young, old, rich, poor, short, tall, none of them matter as far as points go. women aren't looking at your great (or not so great) body. that's just what men think we do. most women are looking at who you are.

every point you score for being somebody you're not will just come off the tally later on when you're trying to unravel the mess you've made for yourself.

nobody is perfect. a little quirkiness, a little geekiness, they're all good. as long as they're the real you, then you can depend on one day finding love. woman are nice creatures. we're far more likely to understand and sympathise with your 'flaws' (real or imagined).

most of us don't care if you're carrying some weight or losing your hair. if you've got a good mind and you try to use it to think about us and talk to us, well, you can pretty much take your pick.

being yourself may not be easy, but it's ultimately better than compromising yourself to meet an imagined standard. if only more men knew how attractive it is to meet a man whose self-worth doesn't depend on the opinions of others. a man who is comfortable with who he is, and who he is becoming.

whatever made you who you are needs to be part of the total package.

books and advice can do so much, but in the end, 'how to get girls', is as stupid a statement as it is a concept. within reason and within the law, be as close to your natural self as you can, and you'll never be left wondering later on why she ended up so 'disappointed' in you. because she won't be.



Comments (Page 1)
2 Pages1 2 
on Aug 18, 2004
and if you have to think about what to say to a girl, then you're probably talking to the wrong girl.


Or you're thinking "Just don't screw this up"
on Aug 18, 2004
Nice article mig!

Really, all of this, to my limited teenage knowledge, is so very true it isn't funny.

All of the girls I've dated didn't really care that I was geeky and was a bit overweight. They cared more about who I was.

Insightful, intelligent, and a good read. Keep it up!

Peace,

Beebes
on Aug 18, 2004
mig: Every man should have to read this before he is allowed to begin dating and pursuing the opposite sex. You hit the nail on the head with every point. Awesome!
on Aug 18, 2004
being proud of who you are is the most attractive feature any man can possess. young, old, rich, poor, short, tall, none of them matter as far as points go. women aren't looking at your great (or not so great) body. that's just what men think we do. most women are looking at who you are.


Ain't that the truth!!

All of the girls I've dated didn't really care that I was geeky and was a bit overweight. They cared more about who I was.


Nope, I didn't care how geeky you were one bit! And you're not overweight!! Am I going to have to hurt you? lol. I liked you for who you are not what comes on the outside.

~carebear~
on Aug 18, 2004
wow...if only umm my friends had known this earlier.  we umm i mean they were under the misaprehension the secret was to drive around and when ya saw a chick walkin, reach out the window, pound three times on the side of the door (this worked better when cars were made outta steel) and yell, 'heyyyyyyyy sue!'. 
on Aug 19, 2004
Or you're thinking "Just don't screw this up"


also entriely possible, history is here



Really, all of this, to my limited teenage knowledge, is so very true it isn't funny.All of the girls I've dated didn't really care that I was geeky and was a bit overweight. They cared more about who I was.


excellent news, death_by_beebles. you sound like a great guy

Insightful, intelligent, and a good read. Keep it up!


thankyou very much. i will try !



Every man should have to read this before he is allowed to begin dating and pursuing the opposite sex. You hit the nail on the head with every point


thankyou, texas wahine. i'm glad you agree. let's tattoo in on men's foreheads



Ain't that the truth!!


good for you, cb

Nope, I didn't care how geeky you were one bit! And you're not overweight!! Am I going to have to hurt you? lol. I liked you for who you are not what comes on the outside


cb, i like a woman who practices what she preaches. you go, girl !



we umm i mean they were under the misaprehension the secret was to drive around and when ya saw a chick walkin, reach out the window, pound three times on the side of the door (this worked better when cars were made outta steel) and yell, 'heyyyyyyyy sue


kingbee, petal, when you're you, i think you can do pretty much whatever you like and your amazing mind will save you !


vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 19, 2004
Let's just say... I have a tendency to make a bad first impression... lucky I am not in sales!

I think this bit from Tommy Boy explains a lot about me:

Tommy: Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guys office and let's say hes even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh , my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, your naughty. Then I take my naughty pet and I go ( makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll) Uuuuuuh. I killed it. I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead Helen, am I right?

And the response to me is usually the next line from the movie... GOD YOUR SICK!

Yes, I am exaggerating, but there is still a lotta truth there....
on Aug 19, 2004
Let's just say... I have a tendency to make a bad first impression... lucky I am not in sales!


well, i have to disagree with you for the first time, historyishere. you made a very positive first impression on me, i find your comments funny and sharp.

Then I take my naughty pet and I go ( makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll) Uuuuuuh. I killed it. I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead Helen, am I right?


i think you are. i think you are !

And the response to me is usually the next line from the movie... GOD YOUR SICK!


oh, blah on that. i get that too. just say to them 'yes, i am sick, but you are stupid, and i can behave if i WANT to". hehe

Yes, I am exaggerating, but there is still a lotta truth there


you seem fine to me. i'm sticking with my good impression statement


vanessa/mig XX"
on Aug 19, 2004
with Johnny, you take your chances
on Aug 19, 2004
with Johnny, you take your chances


johnny, your fabulous mind makes you a pre-approved choice


vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 19, 2004
Great! Now you're telling us that being temples of masculine beauty (if you are it's the simplest thing in the world to be) is not enough, we have to be decent, honest and good as well. Ain't that a relief! *wipes sweat off brow*

As if the hard work just doesn't keep on a comin'

Marco XX
on Aug 19, 2004
cb, i like a woman who practices what she preaches. you go, girl !


Yeah, well I try to stick with what I say!

~carebear~
on Aug 19, 2004
Great article, as ever mumsy. I totally agree with you. I am so attracted to confidence. Someone who is comfortable with themselves, not ashamed of who they are, they make me feel comfortable, and it certaily is an attractive quality. If you have to go out of your wy to impress someone, they aren't right for you in the first place, why change, when you can find someone to love you for who you are?
on Aug 19, 2004
we have to be decent, honest and good as well. Ain't that a relief! *wipes sweat off brow*


you monster, you. temples of masculine beauty, indeed !

As if the hard work just doesn't keep on a comin'


oh, blah on you. since when did you work on stuff like this ?



Yeah, well I try to stick with what I say!


i'm glad you do, cb



I am so attracted to confidence. Someone who is comfortable with themselves, not ashamed of who they are, they make me feel comfortable, and it certaily is an attractive quality


i utterly agree, sal. being happy with you who are is very, very attractive.

why change, when you can find someone to love you for who you are?


great point, thanks for adding it sal


vanessa/mig/mumsy lol XX
on Aug 19, 2004
why change, when you can find someone to love you for who you are?


Because that someone might not be as attractive as the others who don't

That might be a joke, but i'm not so sure. I would hate to make the assumption that humans are reasonable, rational and humane in their choices. Adam Smith made that mistake and it plagued economics for two centuries. If you think that economics has nothing to do with the human, passionate sphere, think again. As in economic theory, as in love, it's always the human element that confounds something that should be perfect.

Marco XX
2 Pages1 2