... issues and tissues with a touch of the spicy from the spirit hag ...
... one day, your 'princess' will come !
Published on August 18, 2004 By mignuna In Personal Relationships

i see a lot of men wasting a lot of time and money trying to unlock the secret as to what attracts the opposite sex. i hear men bemoaning the lack of 'good women', i hear women complaining that men don't want 'good women' anymore.

it seems that people are so hell-bent on finding the right person that they forget to work on being the right person.

love is meant to represent a state of mutual respect, understanding and affection between parties. so, there should be much less finding out how to 'get' girls and much more getting on with being who you are.

there's nothing so unattractive as a man who goes out of his way be someone else to impress a woman. and if you have to think about what to say to a girl, then you're probably talking to the wrong girl.

being proud of who you are is the most attractive feature any man can possess. young, old, rich, poor, short, tall, none of them matter as far as points go. women aren't looking at your great (or not so great) body. that's just what men think we do. most women are looking at who you are.

every point you score for being somebody you're not will just come off the tally later on when you're trying to unravel the mess you've made for yourself.

nobody is perfect. a little quirkiness, a little geekiness, they're all good. as long as they're the real you, then you can depend on one day finding love. woman are nice creatures. we're far more likely to understand and sympathise with your 'flaws' (real or imagined).

most of us don't care if you're carrying some weight or losing your hair. if you've got a good mind and you try to use it to think about us and talk to us, well, you can pretty much take your pick.

being yourself may not be easy, but it's ultimately better than compromising yourself to meet an imagined standard. if only more men knew how attractive it is to meet a man whose self-worth doesn't depend on the opinions of others. a man who is comfortable with who he is, and who he is becoming.

whatever made you who you are needs to be part of the total package.

books and advice can do so much, but in the end, 'how to get girls', is as stupid a statement as it is a concept. within reason and within the law, be as close to your natural self as you can, and you'll never be left wondering later on why she ended up so 'disappointed' in you. because she won't be.



Comments (Page 2)
2 Pages1 2 
on Aug 20, 2004
Because that someone might not be as attractive as the others who don't


you ! back in your cage

I would hate to make the assumption that humans are reasonable, rational and humane in their choices.


yah. course not.

As in economic theory, as in love, it's always the human element that confounds something that should be perfect.


as in everything, you mean ?

vanessa/mig XX
on Aug 20, 2004
as in everything, you mean ?


Pessimist!!!

Marco XX
on Aug 20, 2004
Pessimist!!!


optimist !!! (that's worse)

and turn your msn on, you insular man.

mig XX
on Aug 20, 2004
Yeah, being true to oneself, being an authentic person, is the 'uncommon' common sense. Great post. Keep it up.
on Aug 22, 2004
Mignuna, I agree, and this is one of the things I keep telling my mate who has trouble with the girls. I think the thing is though, there are two ways to want a girl. If you are looking for a proper relationship, then your advice is sound. One has to be very patient for that sort of a match to come along however. Because not many people have patience they try to fill the void with sex or relationships that are not founded on a very deep connection or rapport. For that sort of a relationship, one needs very different cracking on skills than the ones you describe. Nonetheless, a good article that more people of both sexes should read. It may surprise you but a lot of this can be said by simply reversing the sexes in your article. In the long term all anyone can really want is someone who's good to chat with. "Cos we all lose our charms in the end".
on Sep 10, 2004
so the dark tan i've been working on for 3 months was for nothing? all those hours spent in the gym, the creatine habit, the endless beating my muscles took in an effort to make them larger... it was all for nothing?

do you mean i could have gotten chics by just being the skinny old loser that i was?

but what if i like me better now? what if i like the way i look now, and that makes me more comfortable than i was before? hmmm???

anyhoo... of course you're right, so there's no sense in arguing... but i felt the need to disagree with you.
on Sep 10, 2004
hononymous: soldiers are always hot (I know . . . I'm married to one!) . . . no need to bulk up or tan . . . just wear them dcus and badass boots . . . instant chick magnet!
on Sep 10, 2004
And I thought being that superstar action hero would pay off. I guess I was wrong.
on Sep 12, 2004
Yeah, being true to oneself, being an authentic person, is the 'uncommon' common sense. Great post. Keep it up.


thankyou so much web poet

Because not many people have patience they try to fill the void with sex or relationships that are not founded on a very deep connection or rapport. For that sort of a relationship, one needs very different cracking on skills than the ones you describe


this is true, champas socialist. these are not skills for the 'casual relationship' seeker (what an expression !. oxymoron police, please !) ... "casual relationship". bah !. that's as silly as saying "casual sex". oh, woops

Nonetheless, a good article that more people of both sexes should read. It may surprise you but a lot of this can be said by simply reversing the sexes in your article


i did re-read it that way, and i agree !. thankyou

In the long term all anyone can really want is someone who's good to chat with. "Cos we all lose our charms in the end".


we do. we do !!!


so the dark tan i've been working on for 3 months was for nothing? all those hours spent in the gym, the creatine habit, the endless beating my muscles took in an effort to make them larger... it was all for nothing?


well no, honoymous, not for nothing. i'm just saying that the 'before' product is probably more 'me', that's all.

do you mean i could have gotten chics by just being the skinny old loser that i was?


yes, that is exactly what i mean.

but what if i like me better now? what if i like the way i look now, and that makes me more comfortable than i was before? hmmm???


then if that works for you and reflects in your confidence level, it's fine with me. but like i said, i just prefer men to be without that stuff.

anyhoo... of course you're right, so there's no sense in arguing... but i felt the need to disagree with you.


hehe you're making me smile now !. thanks


hononymous: soldiers are always hot (I know . . . I'm married to one!) . . . no need to bulk up or tan . . . just wear them dcus and badass boots . . . instant chick magnet!


taxas wahine, i have to agree here. i do have a weakness for a man in uniform. *sigh*


And I thought being that superstar action hero would pay off. I guess I was wrong.


it still might, dexter !. i happen to love action heros (just the comic book ones ... like spidey ! hehe). but be yourself. you sound okay to me


vanessa/mig XX
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