... country television. *sigh*
I don't watch a lot of television, but when I do watch some, it is with remote control clenched firmly in my little paw, poised to hit the 'mute' button every time the program breaks for a commercial. I thought that nothing could be worse than 'big city' advertising with it's vacant, soulless, impossibly cool and slogan-free slant. I was so wrong.
The local channels in rural areas are, without question, filled with the most inane and mind-numbingly stupid 'advertising' (I use the term loosely) that I have ever had the misfortune to encounter. The revulsion I felt for the city ads and their smutty "I'm Wearing No Knickers" campaign for the underwear named "No Knickers" was one thing.
The utter despair I encountered the first time I saw an advertisement for a rural hardware company that chose to mark it's diversification into agriculture via the slogan "We're Not Just Tools" is a whole different matter altogether.
To think I wasted all this time being annoyed at a sleazy underwear ad while all these insults to common sense and decency were flying around on country television unhindered !. I reserve a unique and involuntary cringe for the insistence of rural people to 'perform' in their own budget advertisements filmed on location at their farm/shed/business, etc.
In light of the rural products being advertised being often similar in price and features, the rural advertiser seems to feel that an advantage must be gained by shouting very loudly into the camera about how good one's product is, (often that is all they say), whilst wandering dottily around said farm/shed/business and desperately trying to keep the logo in shot.
Accustomed to city-slick copywriting, hearing the words "flatulence can be fatal" issuing forth from one's television from a bovine drug agency commercial comes as rather a shock.
Ditto the ad for an industrial rubber manufacturer with it's unique combination of condescension and cheerfulness ( ... "did you know we sell foam, Joan ? ... did you know we sell mats, Pat ?"). (Ugh !. Did you know that your ad makes me vow to never, ever go into or even anywhere near your store, you Neanderthals ?).
I never thought I'd say this, but using sex to sell seems like a pretty revolutionary idea in retrospect. Subliminality, greed and superficiality are all problems with modern advertising, this is true. But at least those things make it interesting. Advertising for practical items is about as exciting as watching grass grow. No wait, actually, I think it is even more boring than that.
At least if you're watching grass grow you know what's going on and nobody is screaming at you about fluke worms and manure, right ?.