Sun-Times columnist Richard Roper really got stuck into the mainstream media (no pun intended) recently for their inane obsession with the reproductive habits of ‘the stars’.
Bemoaning the dreaded airport newsstand trek through rubbish headlines whilst hunting for some suitable in-flight reading, Roper says he “couldn't possibly care less about the Celebrity Pregnancy, the Possible Celebrity Pregnancy, or of course, the jackpot: the Celebrity Baby”.
And I for one happen to agree with him.
As Roper points out, certain magazines are obsessed with the reproductive situations of movie stars, TV sitcom actors, and even reality show participants. (Quoting a recent headline from ‘Us Weekly’: "Trista & Ryan: Baby Worries?").
Roper says
“This goes back to Demi Moore's nude photo on the cover of Vanity Fair, the inspiration for many "I'm famous, hot and preggers" pics, including Gwyneth Paltrow's Apple-on-the-way pose for W magazine”.
“I don't remember Meryl Streep or Raquel Welch babbling endlessly about their babies. Today's stars think they've invented parenting, and they love sharing their miracle baby stories”.
(This just in: pregnant Julia Roberts tells Newsweek she's "vibrating" and will take time off to get to know the twins!).
Salon.com calls it "Pregnancy Porn." Not only do we get photo essays of the famous parents with their babies, we get pictorials of the little ones' bedrooms, which are larger than a bungalow.
We also get conception speculation stories. If Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had actually scored a sperm-egg touchdown when the first "Are They Pregnant?" article appeared, they'd be sending the tyke to first grade by now.
(This just in: Brad's brother says Brad and Jen are adopting!)
Every week, the mags try to figure out which stars might be pregnant. If you're famous and you gain three pounds or you wear a bulky sweatshirt to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, the paparazzi will nail you - and the celebrity-oriented magazines will analyze the photos from multiple angles.
Once it's announced you are pregnant -- and if you're a star, you actually do announce it -- the magazines run "Bump Alerts," tracking the growth of your belly.
When the child is born, there will be a mad scramble for the first photos of the infant, who will look like just about every other baby -- cute and squishy and crabby. Then we'll get updates on the actresses as they frantically work to get back into shape.
Every excursion for the next several years, from trips to the park to the first day of preschool, will be chronicled. But then a weird thing happens. Once the celebrity child reaches 7 or 8, the child vanishes from sight, and the celebrity stops speaking about the child.Read Richard Ropers' full article here:
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