people who blame others for their emotional baggage annoy me. if i had a dollar for every person i've heard blame their vile behaviour some long-since-dead love, i'd be much more of a bitch than i am now. haha. but i digress ... i don't deny that it is possible, even desirable, to ponder "what went wrong" and adjust your behaviour or expectations accordingly. but is that possible when you're too close to have any objectivity ?.

using bad past experiences as an excuse to love a new person conditionally or incompletely is just asking for a repeat problem. and passive abuse of a new partner though making them feel insecure isn't very attractive either. ditto for nursing some type of sexual or emotional problem and expecting it to just be "accepted". fuck taking you as you are if you aren't even interested in being complete. i've seen too many good people sucked into the "(insert name here) - can't help her/his anger/aggression/infidelity. she/he had a bad experience in the past". so ?. now they want you to have one too ?

true mental or physical trauma at the hands of a loved one is an almost unimaginably sad thing, of which i am thankful to have escaped ... and it pisses me off when people trivialise it by acting as if voluntarily dating a jerk who can't keep it in his pants may scar them for life.