I’m not a romantic woman. I admit it. The whole hearts and flowers thing leaves me colder than an Eskimo streaking at an ice polo match. ( Yes, that’s very cold ). Happily, I have deduced that this is in no my way my own fault. (‘Course not. Couldn’t possibly be).   So, my frustration is now aimed squarely at the continual failure of the males of the world to adapt the ‘traditional courtship rituals’ (yawn) to suit the modern female.   I am forced to endure...

  From the ‘ disorders one could never tolerate' department comes this little gem ...   A woman in Sydney, Australia who has been caught red-handed by her partner in the act of having sex with another man says she was asleep at the time and had no idea what she was doing.   The woman’s’ partner, (long confounded by   finding used condoms scattered around their home in the morning), was stunned to eventually discover that she was lea...

  Here we have, straight from the horses' mouth (so to speak), advice from a male doctor telling men how to maintain a ‘sex only’ relationship with a woman. If you ask him, it is possible. (If you ask me, someone should hand me a housebrick to bludgeon this rampantly patronising and blatantly sexist goon over the head with). How to Keep it 'Just Sex' Q: Doc: I have a problem with women – not meeting  them – just keeping things as “just sex” and nothing mor...

I can recall being aged around 24 and telling my grandmother that I wasn't certain I ever wanted to marry. She had not, until that point, even considered that I wasn't 'looking' for a husband. She had just assumed I hadn't been able to find one . My not wanting to get married was inconceivable to her. I was aged 30 when I did marry my husband, and despite the fact that I had been perfectly happy until then, several older female members of my family still heaved huge sighs of relief that...

We were driving late Saturday morning when we were stopped by roadworks right next to a bus shelter. Gazing bored out the window, I noticed a girl of around 20 seated in the shelter and clad in what was obviously her clothing from the night before. Her high heeled shoes sat on the bench next to her. A beaded evening purse sat in her lap. The day was cold and her very short sequined dress wasn't offering much protection. But by far the most striking thing was the look on her face. Sha...

Andy Rooney says : "As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why ... An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom . Few women past the age of 35 give a damn what you might think about them. An older single woman usually has had her fill of "...

Schools in Shanghai, China, have taken a novel approach to an age old problem by making teachings in ‘ real love’ and ‘romance’ a part of the official school curriculum. Believed to concerned with the effects of the internet on the modern morality, China has decided to arm its' next generation of young adults with the facts about ‘real and lasting love’ as opposed to what they term the 'internet chatroom variety' of love. Professor Fan Shougang, editor of the new textbook, has state...

Yes, we women make no sense. So, luckily for us, a German publisher has announced it’s plans to produce a guide designed to help men ‘decipher’ various (ahem) ‘ baffling female banter'. The Langenscheidt publishing group, best known for it’s comprehensive (and very well-respected) foreign language dictionaries, apparently sees no irony in publishing a dictionary in ‘female’. According to the guide, when a woman says to a man “let’s just cuddle”, what she really means is “no sex t...

i see a lot of men wasting a lot of time and money trying to unlock the secret as to what attracts the opposite sex. i hear men bemoaning the lack of 'good women', i hear women complaining that men don't want 'good women' anymore. it seems that people are so hell-bent on finding the right person that they forget to work on being the right person. love is meant to represent a state of mutual respect, understanding and affection between parties. so, there should be much less findi...

i see dead people it’s true. every day i talk to them. they serve me in stores. they deliver my mail. they read the news on tv. they’re everywhere . all of them. all dead. every last one. most of my friends have been dead for years . the only thing that seems to keep them from collapsing into a pile of dust is that they apparently don’t know yet. scary, that. before you write me off as some paranoid-delusional sceptic (you’d be half right), allow me to blow the dust off an issue t...

jesse likes me. other people do too. but him i like back. it made me wonder why. now i know ... * sing ...he likes me for me ... not because i'm phat like cindy crawford *. . ahem. but i digress. jesse made me realise something. (it was an accident hehe. but he still did it, so it counts). usually, if somebody new that i meet likes me, it's because they think i’m “different” or “interesting” or something ... ... i, however, would prefer those that i am close to actually being ab...

know anyone who has committed suicide ?. me too. i was younger at the time. a lot younger. and the young man who died was not a family member nor my closest friend. but we spent a lot of nights and weekends and holidays as part of a close-knit circle and when he died it changed everything. death is an eventual fact for all of us. but at 19 it seems so remote as to be almost impossible. the decision of a young person to end a life that barely had time to get started is one that may people find...

being young is horrible. it's like: here, have a firm, healthy body, an enquiring mind and limitless potential; but temper it with the fact that nobody thinks your emotions are real, you have no authority whatsoever, and you have no voice of any consequence to the "grown-ups". you can have that. i hated being young and i've never for a second wanted to turn back the clock. the paradox of youth was the worst i ever encountered, and i'm glad it's over. even from the vast distance of 34, i ha...

i have musician friends. (don't be impressed. all geeky girls do). anyway, one of these friends (and by default thereby, all of us) has found himself suddenly in possession of a "wayne". any of you who have musical or artistic friends will have met a wayne at some point. waynes' start out seeming harmless enough. they pop up at the odd show. have a chat, maybe a beer afterwards. then they appear more regularly. in more places. soon, you have yourselves a real problem. now, wayne is a nice ...

at that other mans' house, where my girlfriend lives, she sweeps his floor every day. he lifts his feet so she can "get under 'em" (i would never have her sweep my floor. i couldn't bear to see her bruise her pale knees getting "into the corners"). then she might have worn a less weary expression laughed more often. told more people to fuck themselves. and in a much louder voice. had i been ready for her, she might have done all of that. i don't know my girlfriend anymore but i...