"just one more little blog, dear i see something that's new ! i'll just skim it briefly for a quick minute or two" "just one more little blog, dear i know it's rather late but i just got a bit caught up in this forum debate !" "just one more little blog, dear then it's high time for bed i'll just check this comment then reply to what's been said" "just one more little blog, dear i just need to make sure i haven't missed ... wait ! look at this ! ... i pr...

i have been giving some mental airplay to my "failures" lately. i find it strange how we all tend to carry around a big bag of 'regrets' that is full of our 'mistakes', our 'miscalculations', the chances we didn't take, the words we didn't say ... our 'what if's' now imagine for a moment that you didn't have them. any of them. you never did anything 'wrong'. you always knew exactly what to do. hindsight was yours, and it never failed you. you lived your entire life, and you nev...

science can now manipulate the human race so effectively that cloning people is theoretically possible. why don’t they invent some kind of useful genetic manipulation ?. i propose: the number of your sexual partners is tattooed on your forehead. it changes automatically whenever you sleep with someone new. the potential consequences are mind-boggling. such as: married men with 0 ! your father with 2. (and you with 63. “well, son ….”) one little threesome and you’ve go...

I was born in 1969. The cool decade, apparently. I made may have technically made the sixties by 3 months, but they never managed to provide me with any sense of inherent 'coolness'. The sixties to me were just the time my parents ran around looking pretty much like young people do today. My nana explained to me once that 'patchwork' evolved as a way of making use of clothing that had worn out in certain places. These days, these type of 'useful' trends are everywhere. My time has come ! ...

a london-based friend of mine told me recently that, since he had commenced working as a contract-based 'it consultant' in 1997, the top ten keyword searches on the internet have barely changed. despite the internet advancing in leaps and bounds, we are all still just mucking around in here !. i do have an inherent mistrust of lists. i admit that. but with the source of this information being the highly respected british accounting firm for whom my friend is currently working, i am horri...

In a further instance of 'the world gone mad', insurance giant Prudential has been forced to issue a release stating that it will 'review it's safeguards' after a consumer received a letter from them addressed to "Mr. Shagslikeadonkey". The unamused recipient, a Mr. Nick Mann, of Bedfordshire, England, told the (British) Sun newspaper that the letter was delivered to his home via regular post. It was printed on official Prudential letterhead, and had been signed by the company's marketin...

  smiths lyrics which can also be used as excuses to deflect unwanted romantic attention: why do i smile at people who i'd much rather kick in the eye i didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry   sweetness i was only joking when i said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed   i still love you but only slightly less than i used to   don't come to the house tonight because you'll slip on the trail of my bespattered remai...

  things found in my nieces’ playroom: one doll house, tipped up onto its side and containing: a smashed toy oven, a table missing its legs and a bent-over double teddy bear crammed into a room with the door locked   three characters from 'dora the explorer', all naked, one missing a leg   two barbie dolls, each wearing a single shoe and nothing else   one plush green frog, its stomach torn open and the contents replaced with model...

  'Divorce-like' refund excuses:     1/ It doesn’t fit me properly   2/ My mother hates it   3/ It looks different in the daylight   4/ I just didn’t like it when I got it home   5/ It lost its shape really quickly   6/ I was drunk when I chose it   7/ It makes me itchy   8/ It’s not warm enough   9/ It’s too small ! ...

  Several grown women I know claim not to masturbate, and this astonishes me. To be honest, I have real trouble believing that any sexually active female hasn’t tried a little do-it-yourself even once , and I find it a shame that female masturbation is still frowned upon.   Young men are encouraged to explore their sexuality from the outset, and male masturbation is seen as an acceptable example of this. There are so many terms for it ... jerking off, wanki...

(This was forwarded to me recently, but I don't have the original source)     If you receive an e-mail entitled "Oh, I'm A Naughty Little Virus", whatever you do, DO NOT OPEN IT !!!.   It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, it will also permanently delete anything within 20 feet of your computer. Even you.   It scratches your CD's, programs your phone to auto-dial sex chat hotlines, and mixes antifreeze into your fis...

  The world is full of penises, and their owners. Penis owning seems to be a huge (pardon my pun) responsibility for most men. I know we girls find it hard (oops, there I go again) to believe this stunning fact, but I have it from a reliable source that penises not only have minds of their own,   some of them are even capable of speech .   ‘Worried Willy’ is one such penis.   Much more than an all-purpose excuse for anything from infidelity to fist fighting in...

  I can recall the first film I saw about sex. It was at a school evening. My parents were there. (My parents !. Who had done it . Ugh !. Whatever it was. I wasn’t even certain I wanted to know). There I sat amongst my equally embarrassed-into-silence classmates, the setting completed by a ring of parents who looked at their shoes and cleared their throats a lot.   Then 'it' happened. The film said the word ‘penis’. “HA HA ! PENIS !”   yelled Joel, the kid...

  My comments on the blogs that I have deleted the spam on look so funny that I fear I may to consider leaving a replacement comment there or some such thing. I can’t help but wonder what future readers may think upon encountering such ‘spam-edited’ comments long after the spammer itself is a bad memory.   Consider the perfectly pleasant exchange being conducted on my comments which was rudely interrupted by the spammer. The next person to visit was infuriated at the st...